


Skinny Love

by HeartnArrow



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 11:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 27,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2506364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartnArrow/pseuds/HeartnArrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is unique, passion, powerful, and unbreakable. But at the same time love can be fragile, vulnerable, and can be destroyed into tiny pieces, breaking each person beyond repair. I would describe the love between Harry and I as skinny love. Skinny love is powerful but at the same time breakable. People say love can and will conquer all, that isn't the case in all love. Our love was built to overcome anything but as our love grew, parts got shattered along the way, breaking off the strong pieces, leaving us with skinny love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Louis's POV;

“I love you,” Eleanor tells me.

“I love you too,” I say. The words feel forced and fake. How did this happen? I used to really love Eleanor, at least I thought I did. But recently I haven't felt anything when I'm with her, like the spark between us has just suddenly vanished. So why have I stayed with her so long if I don't feel the spark anymore? Maybe I'm scared of what will happen if we break up. We've been dating for three years now.

“I should get home,” I say as I stand up.

“But the movie isn't over yet,” she says as she stands up.

She looks at me with sad eyes. It's cruel what I'm doing to her, giving her false hope. I should just end it now.

“I'm really tired, we had tour rehearsals all day,” I say running a hand through my hair.

“I thought you had the day off?” she asks as she crosses her arms.

“It was last minute scheduling.” I hate lying to her.

“Is there something you're not telling me?” she asks. She looks me in the eyes, searching for a sign of hope, not finding any.

“I just need to take some time to think,” I say.

“About what?” She snaps.

“Us,” I say harshly. She looks at me shocked.

“What is there to think about?” she asks.

“I don't think I love you anymore.” I can hear her heart shatter in pieces. Tears erupt from her beautiful brown eyes.

“I'm so sorry,” I say as I try to wipe the tears from her face. She snatches my hand away.

“Don't. Just go,” she says firmly. I grab my coat and leave her flat. I go outside into the pouring rain and go into my Porsche. I drive home home to Harry's and I flat. When I get home I notice Harry laying on the couch with Kendall Jenner.

“How was your date?” he asks me. I walk right past him and go into my room.

Harry's POV;

“I should go talk to him,” I tell Kendall.

“Go ahead, It's getting late anyway. I'll see you tomorrow,” she says as she gets up. She kisses my lips then leaves the flat. I go over to Louis' room. His door is locked.

“Let me in, it's Harry,” I say. The door opens and I see his teary face. I pull him into a hug.

“What's wrong?” I ask him. He pulls back from the hug and sits on his bed. “

I don't know, I just don't love Eleanor anymore. Our spark is gone. I told her that we need a break and she pretty much slammed the door in my face.”

“I'm sorry, do you know why the spark went away?” I ask him. He shakes his head. He lays his head on my shoulder and within minutes is asleep. I lay him down in his bed and tuck him in. I kiss him on the forehead. Something comes over me when I’m with Louis. My heart speeds up and I feel sick to my stomach. I’ve had these feelings for a while, but I’ve built up a wall. I refuse to let myself feel those feelings. I then leave his room. I dial up Kendall and ask her to come over. She is there within minutes. I kiss her lips flirtatiously, oddly enough I don't feel a thing when our lips meet. I continue to kiss her ignoring the lack of emotion. In fact, I thrive off it, letting myself go completely numb. I kiss down her neck and lead her to my bedroom. When I kiss her, I imagine someone else. I hate myself for who I imagine her to be. It's wrong. It can't happen, and won't happen. I can’t let myself feel those feelings. So, I build my wall higher, and loose myself deeper. And I make love with a girl I don't even love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is unique, passion, powerful, and unbreakable. But at the same time love can be fragile, vulnerable, and can be destroyed into tiny pieces, breaking each person beyond repair. I would describe the love between Harry and I as skinny love. Skinny love is powerful but at the same time breakable. People say love can and will conquer all, that isn't the case in all love. Our love was built to overcome anything but as our love grew, parts got shattered along the way, breaking off the strong pieces, leaving us with skinny love.

Louis's POV;

I wake to the smell of pancakes and bacon. I get up and go out into the kitchen. The lads are in the family room watching Skins, while eating breakfast. I grab myself some breakfast, then take a seat next to them.

“You okay?” Liam asks me.

“Yeah,” I say. I look around the room and notice Harry isn't there.

“Where's Harry?” I ask them.

“He's taking Kendall home,” Niall says.

“She was here?” I looked at them confused.

“She stayed the night, if you know what I mean,” Zayn says with a wink. I feel hurt for some reason but I don't know why. Why would I be hurt about Harry hooking up with Kendall? Maybe it's because I'm protective of him. That's probably it. Harry walks in the door and takes a seat next to me.

“So you and Kendall are an item now?” Liam asks.

“I wouldn't say that,” Harry says.

“But you guys hooked up?” Niall says confused.

“Do you really want me to explain my sex life with you?” Harry says as he raises his eyebrows. Niall shakes his head.

“Do you love her?” I ask him.

“No,” he says a little too quickly. The room falls silent for a few minutes. Everyone's eyes' are on the TV.

“They shouldn't be together,” Zayn says about Naomi and Emily.

“Why?” I ask.

“Cause it's just wrong, a girl shouldn't be with a girl,” he says.

“She can't help that she is lesbian,” I defend.

“Yeah she can, she can get help from a mental institution, plus why do you care? It's not like you're gay,” Zayn snaps. I feel offended and hurt. I don't understand why. Why do I care so much? I say what they want me to say.

“You're right, I'm not gay.” Liam doesn't say a thing the entire conversation.

I get up and leave the room. I enter my room and lay on my bed. Why am I acting like this? What is wrong with me? I feel sad, alone and depressed, yet I don't know why. Tears fall down my face. The door opens and the guys come in.

“You okay?” Harry asks me. I lay face down on my bed with my face buried into my pillow. He takes a seat on my bed and strokes my hair.

“We're sorry if we offended you,” Zayn says.

“Can you just leave me alone? It's nothing you did. I'm just upset about Eleanor,” I say. All of the guys except for Harry leave.

“You know you can't fool me,” he says.

“I know,” I say as I pick my head up to look at him. His green eyes meet mine.

“Are you going to tell me why you're really upset?” he asks.

“I wish I could,” I tell him.

“Why can't you?” he asks.

“Cause, I don't even know why I'm upset,” I say. Harry chuckles as he runs his finger through my hair.

“Oh Lou, you were always the most fragile of us.”

I manage a laugh.

“Why can't I be tough like you?” I ask.

“Cause then you wouldn't be you anymore,” he says with a smile.

“Ugh! I hate being me.” He smiles at me. I look up at his perfect features. His curly locks pulled back with a bandana and his never-ending green eyes. This wired feeling comes over me whenever I'm with him. I'm not sure what it is yet. It's like I'm sick to my stomach when I'm with him. Like I have butterflies in my stomach. Shit. Butterflies. I have feelings for Harry, and not friendly ones. I fancy him. I can't fancy him. He's straight, and I'm straight....at least I thought I was.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks me.

“Have you ever just woke up one day, and realized you've become a different person? Like a completely different person?” I ask.

“No,” he says as he looks at me weirdly.

“You feeling okay?” he asks me with a worried look.

“Yeah,” I say.

“Okay..” I go back to my thoughts. Is it even possible to go from straight to gay? I thought you were either one or the other, not jumping around from gender to gender. If I'm gay then how did I have feelings for Eleanor? My head starts to spin cause of all of the thoughts running through my head.

“I have to go,” I say as I leave my room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is unique, passion, powerful, and unbreakable. But at the same time love can be fragile, vulnerable, and can be destroyed into tiny pieces, breaking each person beyond repair. I would describe the love between Harry and I as skinny love. Skinny love is powerful but at the same time breakable. People say love can and will conquer all, that isn't the case in all love. Our love was built to overcome anything but as our love grew, parts got shattered along the way, breaking off the strong pieces, leaving us with skinny love.

Louis's POV;

I sit on a bench at the park by myself.

“Louis!” a voice calls. I spot Selena Gomez. I walk over to her and hug her.

“Thanks for meeting me,” I say. Selena is in town for promoting her album. We've been friends ever since we met at an award show back in 2012.

“Yeah, anytime. So, whats up?” she asks me.

“Eleanor and I broke up,” I tell her.

“I heard about that, why did you end it?” 

“I don't know, I just don't love her anymore.” 

“Love doesn't just go away. Something had to have happened. What is it? You can tell me.” I look around and see the Paps takings photos of us.

“Can we talk about this away from...” I look over to the paps. She nods and we go to her car.

“So, tell me,” she says.

“I think I have feelings for Harry,” I tell her. Her jaw nearly drops.

“What?” she asks with wide eyes.

“I knew you would act this way, I shouldn't of told you.”

“Louis, no. I'm just surprised. I'm totally fine with the whole gay thing. Are you sure?” she asks.

“Yeah, I just wish he had feelings for me too.”

“How do you know he doesn't?” she asks.

“Cause he's straight. And I think he's dating Kendall.”

Harry's POV;

I dreamt of Louis again. I have to stop feeling this way about him. It's not right. I grab my coat and head towards the door. “You going out?” Louis asks me. “Yeah,” I say as I close the door. I drive to the club. I come here when I need to get the edge off, which seems to be a lot lately. I have sunglasses on even though it's dark out to keep paparazzi from blinding me as I enter the building. I get totally wasted that night. I end up staying the night at a girl's house, who I don't even know the name of.

Louis's POV;

I look myself in the mirror.

“I'm gay,” I say to myself.

I stare back at my reflection and I can see the truth. I'm bi, I love Harry. I was in denial all these years. It makes sense now. What do I do now? Should I tell Harry? If I tell Harry, will our friendship be ruined? How will the fans react? Should I tell anyone? Tears pour down my checks. I look back up at my reflection. I fall to the floor and sob. I place my head in between my legs and let it all out. I scream, yell, and cry. I feel like I’m trapped in this tiny box. This is eating me alive. I can't keep this a secret, I have to tell Harry. I'll die if I don't.


	4. Chapter 4

Louis' POV;

The next morning I wake to hear voices coming from the kitchen. I get up and see that Harry and Zayn are in the kitchen.

“Hey Zayn,” I say. I take a seat at the table.

“We have an interview today,” Zayn says.

“When?” I ask.

“In an hour,” he says. I go back in my room and get ready for the interview. We leave for the interview. Oprah is doing a special on us. We all arrive at her studio.

“It's so nice to meet you guys,” Oprah tells us as she hugs each of us backstage.

“I'm going to start my show and then we can start.”

“So, Louis, Why did you and Eleanor break things off?” she asks. All of the lads look to me.

“I just didn't love her anymore,” I say.

“Usually when you stop loving someone it's because you have feelings for someone else, is there someone else?” she asks. I look at Harry and then back to her.

“Yes,” I say. The crowd goes crazy. The lads look at me shocked.

“And who is that someone?” she asks.

“I don't think I can tell you that yet, I haven't told the person my feelings for them yet,” I tell her.

“What better way to tell them than on live television?” I take a deep breath.

“I'm sorry, I can't.” we move on and she doesn't bring it up again.

After the interview we all go to Niall's flat.

“So who is this special someone?” Zayn asks me. All of them look to me. I look down at the floor.

“Come on, you can tell us,” Liam says.

“I can't,” I say.

“Why is that?” Niall asks.

“Forget it,” I say.

“Then tells us,” Harry pleads.

“Fine, It's Selena,” I say. I can't tell him this way, I will tell him tonight, with no one else around.

“I thought you fancied her,” Zayn says with a smirk.

I enter our flat and flop on the couch.

“So you and Selena...” Harry says as he sits next to me.

“I don't fancy Selena,” I admit.

“Wait, why did you lie to us?”

“Cause I wanted to tell the person first before I tell the group.”

“So you lied to us?!” he shouts.

“I had to.” 

“What could be so bad that you have to lie to your best friend about?”

I bit my lip and burry my head in my hands.

“Who is it? Be a man and tell me!” he yells at me.

“You!” I shout as I make contact with him.

“What?” he looks at me confused.

“I fancy you, Harry,” I tell him in a low voice. Harry runs his fingers through his curly locks.

“Please say something,” I plead. We sit there in silence.

“I don't have feelings for you in that way,” he says.

Of course he doesn't. What was I thinking? Harry is straight, why would he fall for me?

“Can we just forget that this happened?” I ask. I can hear my voice break as I say it.

“Yeah,” he says as he gets up. He goes to his bedroom.

How could I be so stupid? I run my hands through my hair and start sweating. Tears fall from my eyes as I collapse onto the floor. I curl up into a ball and let my emotions out. I feel like half of me is gone. Like I’m not me without him. God. Why must I love those who will never love me back?


	5. Chapter 5

Harry's POV;

When Louis told me he fancied me, part of me was happy and was desperately wanting to tell him that I fancy him too. But, I couldn't do that, cause I'm not gay. I hate gays. It's so wrong. Guys should like girls and girls should like guys. I take out some pot and smoke it. My thoughts drift and I forget all about my forbidden feelings.

The next day, I meet up with my sister. Gemma and I go out for lunch.

“How have you been?” she asks me. I haven't seen her in a month.

“I'm good,” I say.

“Really?” she asks. She has always been the only one who can see right through my act.

“Yeah,” I say.

“What's wrong with your eyes? Do you have pink eye?” she asks studying my eyes. She gives me a worried look.

“Nothing,” I say.

“Have you been smoking again?” she asks. I avoid eye contact. “Come on, Haz. I won't tell mom.” I nod my head.

“Why?” she asks.

“I just haven't been feeling like myself lately,” I admit.

“So you think smoking will make you feel better?” She rolls her eyes.

“I knew you would act this way. I never should of told you!” I shout as I stand up. I head out the door and she follows me.

“What's going on with you?” she asks me.

“I don't know!” I spat.

“What do you mean?” 

“I don't know who I am anymore.” Gemma is right in front of me. She hugs me.

“It's okay, we can get you help,” she says. I pull away from her.

“I don't need your help,” I yell. She looks at me shocked. I go to my car and drive off. I feel bad leaving her like this but I can't tell her what I'm really feeling. I can't tell anyone. Cause once I say it out loud, I will have to face who I've become. I refuse to let my guard down. I have to push everyone away, I don’t deserve anyone.

Louis' POV;

“I'm worried about Harry,” I tell Liam. It's been over a week since I came out to Harry. Ever since, Harry has been coming home late and ignoring everyone. His sister called me yesterday, she's worried about him. Apparently he's smoking again.

“I don't know what to do. I tried to get him help but he just keeps on pushing everyone away,” she told me.

“I found this in his room,” I say as I flop a bag of pot on the table. Liam picks up the bag and exiniams it.

Harry's POV;

I open my eyes to see someone sleeping next to me. I look at the girl. It's Kim. I get up from the bed and grab my clothes. I have to get out before Kendall finds me. I make my way towards the door.

“What are you doing here?” a voice says from behind me. I turn around to see Kendall.

“I came to surprise you,” I say.

“In your boxers?” she asks as she crosses her arms.

“Look I was really drunk last night and I barely remember what happened,” I say.

“And that makes it okay to sleep with my sister?!?” she shouts.

“No,” I say quietly.

“How could you do this? You knew how many times I have lived in the shadow of my sister. How everyone loves her more than me. And now you too.”

“I'm sorry."

“Just go, and don't bother coming back.”

 

I enter my flat and see all of the One Direction lads in the family room. They all give me sympathetic looks.

“What are you all doing here?”

“Harry, we are all worried about you,” Liam says.

“You don't need to be, I'm fine,” I say with a fake smile.

“Then why did I find pot in your room?” Louis asks.

“You went through my room!”I shout.

“Harry, we're just worried about you, we want to get you help,” Niall says.

“I'm not the one you should be worried about,” I pause and look directly at Louis.

“Louis's the one who is hiding a secret from all of you!” I shout.

“Harry, calm down,” Liam says.

“No, just leave me alone!” I shout as I run to my room. 

 

“Open the door,” Louis's voice shouts from the other side of the door.

“Are you alone?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says. I unlock the door and Louis comes in. I sit on my bed, Louis walks over to me.

“What's going on with you?” he asks me.

“Nothing,” I spat.

“Something's changed in you. You’re distant, like you outcasted yourself from everyone.” I put a cigarette in my mouth and lit it. “Is it something I did?” he asks. I shake my head. “Then what is it?” He is now kneeling in front of me. In one sudden movement, he takes my cigarette out of my mouth.

“Give it back,” I shout.

“Not until you tell me what is going on with you.” My eyes meet his. I lose myself in them. I stare at him without saying a word.

“You know what, I'm done. I give up. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong,” he says as he throws the cigarette on the floor and makes his way towards the door.

“Wait!” I shout. He turns around.

“What?” I am standing beside him now. I don't remember moving, but the next thing I know, I am leaning in to kiss him. I kiss him with passion and for the first time I feel something when our lips meet, sparks. He breaks through my wall, forcing me to face the truth. It feels amazing, like all time has stopped. He pulls away and looks at me confused.

“I've had all these feelings for you, but could never understand what they were, when you told me you were gay, I knew was able to understand what they are, love. The past few weeks I was in denial, trying to figure out what I am.” Louis looks at me stunned.

“And?” he asks.

“I'm bi, but right now, I want to be with you and try to make this work,” I tell him. He grins and kisses my lips again.

“What are we going to tell them?” he asks.

“I don't know, I think that we should wait to tell them.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is our first date. It's been a week since the kiss. It's been hard hiding our love. I am in the car with Louis. He won't tell me where we are going for our first date. We pull up to an amusement park that is completely empty.

“Did you rent this place out?” I ask him. He nods as a grin is plastered on his adorable face. I give him a quick peck on the lips. We then go to the roller coasters. We spend the day riding the big roller coasters and playing carnival games. The employees give us weird looks but Louis paid them to keep quiet about us. The sun is setting and we have time for one more ride.

“Let's go on the ferris wheel,” I say to him. I led him to the giant ferris wheel in the back of the park. We go into an orange cart and sit beside each other.

 

My arm is around Louis, he lays his head on my shoulder. We watch as the sun falls behind the clouds.

“It's so beautiful,” he says. I kiss his forehead. I then kiss his lips. He kisses back with passion. Both of our hands travel along each others bodies' as our lips collide with tongue. Louis runs his hands through my curly locks as he kisses me. We continue to kiss each other. I lay back on the seat and Louis is on top of me, still kissing me. This is where I belong. Right here, with the boy that I love, Louis.


	6. Chapter 6

Louis's POV;

“So what do we have planned today?” Harry asks me as he flips a pancake over.

“I think we have tour rehearsals later, but I'm not sure,” I say.

“Maybe we could go to the movies before or after rehearsals,” he says.

“I'd like that,” I say. He is suddenly right by me. He puts his hands on my hips and kisses my lips. I kiss back with passion. My fingers run through his curly locks as our lips collide.

“What are you baking?” a voice shouts from another room. We pull back quickly from the kiss and I grab a spatula. The lads come into the kitchen.

“Since when do you bake?” Niall asks me. My face is bright red as he panics, looking to me for help.

“I was teaching him how to bake pancakes,” he says. Zayn takes a seat at the island.

“We have a recording session later,” Zayn says.

“You said we had tour rehearsals,” Harry says to me.

“How am I suppose to know,” I say with a grin. I want so badly to give him a peck on the lips. Liam looks at both at us for a while in a confused yet, understanding way. Harry finishes the pancakes and puts them on a plate for everyone.

“So, did you ask Selena out yet?” Zayn asks me.

“Yes,” I say.

“And?” I look at the floor.

“She's still not over Justin,” I say.

“That sucks,” he says.

“Do you have any song ideas for the session?” Harry asks changing the subject.

“I have a few,” I say with a grin.

“Can we see them?” Niall asks.

“Yeah,” I say as I grab my song notebook. I put the notebook on the table and the guys look at the song I wrote last night.

“I like this one,” Harry says.

“I wrote it last night,” I say.

“It's perfect,” Liam says. Later, that day we go to the studio to record the song. We go into the booth and start recording.

“My hands, Your hands Tied up Like two ships. Drifting Weightless. Waves try to break it. I'd do anything to save it. Why is it so hard to say it? My heart, Your heart Sit tight like book ends. Pages Between us Written with no end. So many words we're not saying. Don't wanna wait 'til it's gone. You make me strong. I'm sorry if I say, "I need you." But I don't care, I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong That you make me strong? Think of How much Love that's been wasted. People Always Trying to escape it. Move on to stop their heart breaking. But there's nothing I'm running from. You make me strong. I'm sorry if I say, "I need you." But I don't care, I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong? So, baby, hold on to my heart, oh, oh. Need you to keep me from falling apart. I'll always hold on. 'Cause you make me strong. I'm sorry if I say, "I need you." But I don't care. I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong? I'm sorry if I say, "I need you." But I don't care, I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong That you make me strong? I'm sorry if I say, "I need you." But I don't care, I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong That you make me strong?”

 

After the recording session, Harry pulls me into a small room, where no one can see us.

“Did you write that about me?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I say with a smirk. He grins and kisses me with so much passion that I am pressed up against the wall. I kiss back and let his hands wonder. Our lips collide, tongues crash into each other.

“We should go back, we don't want them to get suspicious,” Harry whispers as he breaks the kiss.

We go back out and face reality.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry's POV;

Louis and I have been spending our days locked inside watching movies together and doing couplely things. Louis lays on my bare chest as we watch The Hunger Games.

“I hate that we have to spend our days cooped up inside, I wish we could go out in public,” Louis says suddenly. “Maybe, it's time we go public, at least to our families,” I say to him.

“Yeah, we should invite both our families over tomorrow and tell them.” I smile at him. He rolls over so that he is on top of me. He kisses me with desire. Our lips link together. My hands travel to his shirt. I take his shirt off making sure not to break the kiss.

“I love you,” Louis whispers to me.

“I love you too,” I whisper. The rest of our clothes are off in seconds. Our bodies link together, colliding together with pure bliss. The moment couldn't be anymore perfect.

“So, why are we all here?” Gemma asks us. Louis' and my families are over.

“There is something that we need to tell you,” Louis says as he looks to me.

“Let me start of by saying, I'm bi,” Louis says, he then looks to me.

“And I'm bi,” I say as I give Louis' hand a squeeze.

“We're in love,” Louis tells them. Our families look at us with puzzled looks.

“Are you sure?” my mom asks.

“Yes,” I say.

“Then I am happy for you. As long as you are happy, I will support you,” she says as she hugs me.

“Same here,” Louis' mom says as she hugs him. “I'm so proud of you,” Gemma says as she hugs me.

“Have you told anyone else?” my mom asks.

“No, so you guys are going to have to keep this between us for now.”

“When are you going to come out?” Louis and I look to each other.

“Hopefully soon, the time just isn't right, right now,” I say.

Gemma and I are in the kitchen. She asked to speak to me alone.

“Is this what you were so afraid of telling me?” she asks me. I nod my head. I can see the hurt in her eyes.

“Harry, you know that I don't care what you are, as long as you're happy,” she says.

“I know,” I say.

“Then why couldn't you tell me that one day?” she asks.

“Cause, I hadn't yet admitted it to myself. I was in denial,” I tell her. She nods and hugs me.

“I'm so happy for you, Harry,” she says.

Louis makes me dinner that night.

“That couldn't of gone more perfectly,” he says as he serves me pasta. “How the hell are we going to tell them?” I ask.

“I-I don't know,” he says. I run my hand through my hair, it's a nervous habit that I have.

“You saw how they acted when the girls on Skins were lesbian. What if they say the same thing to us?” I ask him as I stare blankly at my plate.

“They probably will but it'll be worse,” he admits.

“Great, what about management? How are they going to react? What if they make us break up? Or the fans? What if they leave us?” Tears fall from my eyes. Louis reaches across the table and grabs my hand.

“We will get through this,” he says. “Look at me,” he says. I lift my head and look into his eyes.

“They can't make us do anything. I love you and I won't let them break us apart.” I hug him tight.

“I love you,” I whisper to him.

“I love you too,” he says. We pull back from the hug and kiss each other. We pull back from the kiss. “Let's eat,” he says. I nod and start to eat my pasta.

“Can we go out tomorrow? I'm sick of being stuck in this house,” I say.

“Yeah, but we'll have to control our PDA,” he says.

“I hate this,” I say bluntly.

“Me too.”


	8. Chapter 8

Louis' POV;

“Ready to go?” I ask Harry. Harry puts his orange beanie on his head and then nods. We leave the house and drive to the IMAX theater. We walk into the theater together. People stare at us and some fans ask us for pictures. We take some pictures then make our way over to buy tickets.

“Two tickets to The Hunger Games,” I say.

“How full is the theater?” Harry asks the guy.

“Almost full,” he says. Harry looks to me with concern.

“What theater has the least amount of people?” I ask him.

“Theater 5,” he says.

“What movie is that for?” Harry asks.

“The Book Thief.” We buy tickets to The Book Thief, even though we both read the book and hated it.

We enter the theater and see only 5 other people. We go to the way back of the theater. We share a popcorn and a drink.

“This almost feels normal,” Harry says as the previews start.

“Almost,” I say. My lips collide with his.

“Now it feels completely normal,” I whisper in his ear. We continue to kiss. My hands tug at the ends of his hair. I feel the people's stares. They look sympathetic. Like they understand us. Their faces turn back to the screen. My fingers unbutton Harry's flannel shirt. I run my hands over his tattoos, I then kiss each one, then go back to his lips. I am now on Harry's lap, making out with him.

His hands travel up my shirt as his lips continue to kiss mine. He pulls my shirt over my head. His hands then travel to my belt. I stop him.

“Are we seriously going to do this here? In front of all these people?” I ask him.

“No,” he says as he pulls away. He sighs and buttons up his shirt. I put my shirt back on.

“Are you going to sit in my lap the entire movie?” he asks me.

“Yeah,” I say with a grin. “I'm fine with that,” he says as he grabs a handful of popcorn.

“Hand me one,” I say.

“Open your mouth,” he says with a smirk. I open my mouth and he tosses a piece of popcorn into my mouth.

“This movie is so boring,” I say. He nods as he yawns. I rest my head on his shoulder and he pulls his arm around me. I close my eyes and let myself drift to sleep.

“LOUIS!!” a raspy voice shouts at me. I open my eyes to see Harry standing in front of me. The lights are on.

“Is the movie over?” I ask. He nods. I rub my eyes and get up. We leave the theater hand in hand. Once we get out into the main part of the theater, Harry lets go of my hand. We go outside and are surrounded by paparazzi and fans. Microphones are shoved in our faces as they ask us rude and stupid questions.

“Harry, is it true that you and Kendall broke up?” we make our way to the car.

“Is it true that you cheated on Kendall with her sister?”

“Harry, how are you dealing with your drug addiction?” I stop walking and stare at the guy with the microphone. Harry looks at me.

“None of those allegations are true. So just shut the fuck up! You don't know me and you don't know Harry!” I shout. The guy looks at me surprised. He then goes back to asking questions.

“Why did you break things off with Eleanor? Is it true that you cheated on Eleanor? Harry, it is true that you went to rehab?” Anger surges through me.

“Louis, let's go,” Harry calls. I grab the microphone from the guy's hand, break it in half then throw it at the camera. I then run with Harry to the car.

“I hate them,” I mutter. Harry stares at the ceiling blankly.

“What's wrong?” I ask him.

“Not everything they said was a lie,” he tells me.

“I know about your drug use,” I say.

“No, not that,” he says. Harry looks out the window. I grab his hand.

“Harry, no matter what it is, it isn't going to change how I feel about you.” he turns his face to look at me.

“Before I came out to you, I slept with Kim while I was still together with Kendall. I was in denial about being in love with you. So, I did whatever I could to convince myself that I was straight.” I let go of his hand. “I was going through a dark time then, I would never cheat on you or do anything to hurt you,” he says as he grabs my hand.

“Promise?” I ask.

“I promise.”


	9. Chapter 9

Louis's POV;

Harry and I sit on the couch watching Enews. Harry lays on my chest, we have a blanket over us. Ryan Seacrest comes on the screen.

“Last week, One Direction star, Louis Tomlinson attacked paparazzi.” Harry rises his head.

“Shit,” he says.

“Simon is not going to be happy when he hears about this,” I say. Ryan Seacrest plays the video.

“They got it on video!” I roll my eyes and sigh.

“Do you regret it?” Harry asks me.

“Regret what?” I ask.

“Attacking paparazzi?” he asks.

“No, I would do anything for you, even if Simon gets mad at me,” I say. He smiles and kisses my lips.

“Thanks,” he says.

“Anytime.”

We are interrupted by a call. I take out my cell phone and see it's Simon.

“Speaking of the devil,” I say as I answer the call. Harry lays back on my chest.

“Hi, Simon,” I say. I fiddle with Harry's curls as I get yelled at by Simon.

“I'm sorry I went off on them but I had to stand up for Haz,” I say. Simon yells at me for ten more minutes then we hang up.

“He mad?” Harry asks.

“Yeah but I think he's okay now,” I say.

“That's good,” he says. Harry gives me a quick kiss then resumes to his position on my chest.

“Do you wanna go to a bar tomorrow night?” Harry asks me.

“Like a gay bar?” I ask him.

“Yeah, it'd be fun to go out for a night,” he says.

“Sure,” I say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry and I are at the bar dancing wildly to pop music when the music slows. The DJ turns on 'Skinny Love' by Birdy.

“May I have this dance?” Harry asks me as he holds out a hand for me. A smile spreads across my face as I put my hand in his. We slow dance back and forth. Harry and I mumble the lyrics.

“I love this song,” he says.

“Me too.” 

“Why don't we have this be our song?” he says.

“Okay.” 

“I love you,” Harry says as he holds me close.

“I love you too.”

“No, I don't just love you. I'm in love with you,” he says as he looks into my eyes.

“I'm in love with you too.”

I close the gap between us and let our lips connect.

“And I told you to be patient, and I told you to be fine, And I told you to be balanced, And I told you to be kind,” Harry whispers in my ear.

“And now all your love is wasted, Then who the hell was I? 'Cause now I'm breaking at the britches, And at the end of all your lies,” I whisper back to him.

“Who will love you? Who will fight? And who will fall far behind?” Harry sings in my ear.

The last part we sing together, “Come on skinny love, My my my, my my my, my-my my-my...My my my, my my my, my-my my-my.” the space between us is gone and our lips are one. Harry has his hand on my chin has his lips kiss mine. My hand fiddle with his curls as moves his hands to under my shirt.

“Damn, you're ripped,” he whispers in my ear.

“You're not too bad yourself,” I chuckle in response. He smirks and continues to kiss me. I let his tongue slid into my mouth. I can feel the eyes on us, but I honestly don't care. Right here, right now in this moment couldn't be more perfect, not even the people around could ruin that. It's like everything just disappears when we're together, and it's just us and pure lust.


	10. Chapter 10

Harry's POV;

I am woken by a loud voice in my ear. I open my eyes to see Louis and Liam.

“Why are you waking me up this early?” I ask them.

“We have an interview,” Liam tells me.

“With who?” I ask.

“Graham Norton,” Louis says. I sit up and rub my eyes.

“Here get dressed, you have ten minutes until we need to leave,” Louis says as he hands me some clothes. They leave the room and I change. We arrive at the studio and go backstage.

“I was watching this guy's show yesterday, and just to warn you, he can be harsh. He likes to get the gossip out of you and then he will bring you down,” Liam tells us.

“That's great,” I say with sarcasm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, who here is single?” Nortan asks us. Louis, Niall and I all raise our hands.

“Interesting,” he says. I look to Louis then back to Nortan.

“So, Louis what do you have to say about your incident with paparazzi?” he asks. He plays the video of Louis yelling at paparazzi.

“I don't regret what I did, I was standing up for my friend, and I would do it again in a heart beat,” he says as he looks me in the eye.

“And Harry is just a friend?” Louis chuckles. He's such a good actor.

“Yeah, he's my best friend,” he says.

“Nothing more?” Louis raises an eyebrow.

 

“Do you think I'm gay? Cause I'm not, the only reason I broke up with Eleanor was cause I didn't love her anymore,” he says.

“Then how do you explain this,” he says as photos of Louis and I kissing at the bar show up on the screen. Zayn, and Niall look at the screen with wide eyes.

“That's obviously not me, you can't even make out who the people are,” he says.

Luckily the guy moves on and doesn't bring it up again. When the show goes to commercial, I run into the bathroom. I go over to the sink and let tears fall from my eyes. I let my head fall into my hands and fall onto the floor sobbing. The door opens and Louis is there.

“Harry, it's okay,” he says as he kneels beside me.

“No it's not! That guy almost outed us to the whole world!” I shout.

“Almost,” he says.

“What if he did? What would of we done then?” I shout through tears.

“We would figure a way to come clean to everyone.” he is sitting in front of me now.

“I can't do this anymore,” I say as I take my hands away from my face and look him in the eye.

“We'll tell the guys tomorrow,” he says. I nod my head.

 

He moves over, so he can sit next to me. He wipes away my tears then puts a hand on my chin. He then kisses my lips smoothly.

“I love you and nothing will change that,” he tells me as he wipes away more tears. I smile through the tears and kiss him again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this chapter contains different views on sexuality and some may be considered offensive. I don't want to offend anyone, I just wanted to shows the different views, this is a work of fiction, so remember none of this is real. Well except for Larry. That's real, anyway here's the chapter.

Louis's POV;

“There is something that we need to tell you,” I say. Harry and I stand outside on Zayn's patio.

“What is it?” Niall asks.

“I'm bi,” I choke out. Zayn and Niall look at us with shock.

“Harry and I have been dating for a month now. We're in love,” I say.

“I'm happy for you,” Liam says as he hugs each of us. Niall and Zayn stay silent.

“So are you gay too, Harry?” Niall asks.

“I'm bi,” he says.

“Do your parents know?” Niall asks.

“Yeah, they're fine with it,” I say. Zayn gets up and walks to the other side of the deck. Harry walks over to him. He places a hand on Zayn's wrist, but Zayn snatches it away.

“This is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard,” he mutters.

“You're not bi Harry, you've been with girls your whole life, you're just experimenting.” Harry shakes his head.

“No, I love Louis,” he says. Zayn refuses to look at him.

“No you don't. A guy can't love another guy.” Niall hasn't moved at all. He just stares into nothingness.

“Zayn look at me,” Harry pleads. Zayn turns around but won't look him in the eye.

“I love Louis, in fact I'm in love with Louis. And its okay cause I'm happy when I’m with him,” he says to him.

“Do you hear yourself right now? A guy can't love another guy, You need to go,” he says.

“But..” Harry starts.

“Just go, all of you!” he shouts. I grab Harry's hand and lead him towards the door. Liam follows us.

“Niall?” Harry asks with desperate eyes.

“I'm staying here, I don't support this,” he says.

I lead Harry out to the car. He stares at the ground blankly. I pull him into my arms.

“It'll be okay,” I tell him as he sobs into my arms.

“No it's not, I just lost two of my best friends,” he says.

“They'll come around,” I tell him.

“What if they don't?” he asks me. I look to Liam.

“We will figure something out, and honestly if they can't support you then they aren't worth it,” Liam tells him. I give Liam a light smile.

“Come on, Haz. Let's get you home,” I say to him. We get into the car and drive home. We drop Liam off at his place then go back to our flat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry and I spend the night cuddling and talking. I am woken up too early for a day off by my cell phone. It's a text from Simon. It reads; 'urgent meeting at 12 at the management office.' I rub my eyes and shake Harry until he wakes up.

“We have an emergency meeting at noon with management,” I tell him. “I bet Zayn and Niall outed us,” he says.

“They wouldn't do that,” I tell him. I get dressed and eat breakfast. I get a call from Liam, he got the text too. We talk on the phone guessing what it could be about.

“Louis?” a voice calls.

“Yeah.” Harry looks to me, he is still in his boxers.

“Can I borrow a pair of sweatpants?” he asks me.

“Sure, are you feeling okay?” I ask him.

“I think I may be getting sick,” he says. I hand him a pair of grey sweatpants.

 

He puts them on and throws on a white-beater.

“I've never seen you in sweatpants,” I say with a chuckle.

“Yeah, it feels weird to not be wearing skinny jeans.” I walk over to him and kiss his lips. He deepens the kiss as he slides his tongue into my mouth.

“Come on love birds!” a voice shouts. We turn around to see Liam with a box of donuts. We get into my car and I drive to us to the meeting.

“I brought donuts so that Simon and management won't kill us,” he says. We arrive at the office.

“Are you wearing sweatpants, Harry?” Liam asks him as we walk towards the building.

“Yeah, they're Louis,” he says as his face goes red.

“Aww, you two are so cute,” he says with a smile. I grab Harry's hand and squeeze it.

“Time to face the red coats of management.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so just some background info on this story, this was the very first larry story I wrote so thats why theres no major symbols and the point of view changes and my writing isn't as good. I put it up on wattpad a while but decided to edit it and post it on here. the rest of the chapters should be posted by the end of tonight.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry's POV;

I let go of Louis' hand as we enter the meeting room. Zayn and Niall sit at the far end of the table along with Simon and the rest of management. Liam sets the donuts on the table and we take a seat.

“Okay, lets get this meeting started,” Simon says.

“So you're all probably wondering why you are all here today, well someone here has brought something to my attention that needs to be addressed, I also was sent some photos and videos from TMZ that brought something to my attention.” I look to Louis. Louis holds my hand under the table.

“I want you guys to be honest with me, so with that said, Harry and Louis are you two dating?” he asks. I look to Louis unable to speak.

“Yes,” he says. Simon sighs and sits on the table.

“So many boy bands have broken up because a member is gay, we can't let that happen,” he says.

“How are we going to do that?” Louis asks.

“We are going to get both of you beards, and you will stay in the closet,” he tells us. My heart launches out of my chest.

“I am not going to be in a fake relationship with some girl!” I shout as I stand up. Everyone stares at me.

“Just do it, Harry, stop experimenting and be with someone you're supposed to be with,” Zayn snaps.

“What the hell does that mean?” I ask.

“It's time that you stop playing games and be with a girl,” he states loud and clear.

“Either I'm out or I'm out of the band!” I shout. Simon looks at me with shock. “Me too,” Louis says as he stands up.

“Wow, you're willing to give up on everything you've worked for just for this fake relationship?” Niall says.

“What is this, Romeo and Juliet? This is the 21st century, in some places gays can get married, just let them be who they are,” Liam says defensively. The head of modest management stands up.

“Harry and Louis, you signed a contract stating that you can not leave the band so you will do as we say, Louis, you will get back together with Eleanor and Harry, we will find you someone. You guys will all act like you always have, best friends.” I run my hands through my hair, I feel like part of me is being taken away. Zayn looks to Simon, trying to find a flaw with his plan.

“What if someone asks about our views on gays?” he asks.

“You will lie,” he says firmly.

“Great, they're the one committing the sin and I'm the one that is forced to lie,” he snaps. He sighs.

“Fine, you will just not answer the question,” he says. We agree to the deal against our own will. Simon schedules for me to date Taylor Swift.

Zayn's words echo in my head all day.

“they're the one committing the sin and I'm the one that's is forced to lie.” Does that mean he believes that being gay is a sin? Am I portraying my religion by being bi? I call up my sister that night. I tell her about everything that has happened in the past week and I ask her the question that has been haunting me.

“People interpret the bible in different ways, I believe that God accepts all his children, black, straight, gay, all of them. Being gay is not at all a sin, it's like saying being black is a sin, you are who you are and you can't change that. God loves you for who you truly are.”


	13. Chapter 13

“This sucks,” I say. Harry and I lay on the couch. It is another rainy day in London. It's been raining for days.

“Yeah, I hate management, I don't want to lie to our fans,” he says.

“Yeah, it's wrong to lie to them. They are the ones who buy tickets to our concerts and stay up all night to watch us on interviews or buy our latest album. And this is how we repay them? By lying to their faces?” I fiddle with Harry's curls.

“Simon's making me go on a date with Taylor Swift tomorrow,” he says with a sigh.

“And I have to get back together with Eleanor tomorrow.” Harry is still wearing my sweatpants.

“We should've just kept quiet,” he says as he fiddles with the blanket over us.

“Yeah but then we wouldn't have Liam to support our relationship.” Harry looks me straight in the eyes.

“What does this mean for us?” he asks as his voice cracks.

“I don't know,” I choke out. “I don't want things to go back to the way they were,” he says.

“They won't, we'll still be dating, we just can't go outside in public together,” I tell him. He rolls over so that he is on top of me.

“I hate this so much, but I'm willing to lie to them because I love you,” he tells me.

“Me too,” I tell him. I kiss his lips gently then kiss him with more force.

“Our little secret,” he whispers to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I knock on Eleanor's door with flowers and jewelry in my hands. She opens the door with a smile, only to be dropped down to a frown.

“What are you doing here?” she asks.

“I'm sorry about everything, I've spent a lot of time thinking, thinking of us, and how much I love you. I love you, Eleanor and I was stupid to ever question that,” I tell her.

“What about what you said in all those interviews?” she asks.

“Management made me say those things,” I tell her.

“How do I know management isn't making you tell me this?” she asks. I want so badly to just tell her everything. To fall down and just cry, let everything out. But I can't I have to be strong for harry and the band.

“Cause I would never lie to you, Ele. I love you.” She lets her guard down and a smile grows on her face.

“I love you too.”

She kisses my lips and it feels beyond wired. It feels plain wrong. But I kiss her back with passion like I would with Harry. I pretend that she is Harry. I feel like what I'm doing is illegal, pretending to be in a relationship when you're gay.

“We have so much time to make up for,” she says with a smile as she starts to unbutton my shirt. I wanted to stop her and tell her the truth, but I can't do that. So, I make love with someone I don't even love. And I don't feel a single thing.


	14. Chapter 14

Harry's POV;

Taylor Swift holds my hand as we walk into a diner. Paparazzi flashes their cameras at us as we walk to my car. I fake smile as I reach the car. The press fire thousands of questions at us.

“Do you love Taylor, Harry?” one of them asks.

“Yes, she's an amazing girl,” I say as if I've rehearsed it a thousand times.

“A kiss for the camera?” one person asks. Taylor smiles as he plants a kiss on my lips. I kiss back with little passion. I pull back and we get in the car. I drive Taylor home then I finally go home. When I get home Louis is asleep on the couch. I walk over to him and kiss his forehead. I then lay next to him. I wrap my arms around his waist and snuggle into him.

“How was your date with Taylor?” he asks with a tired voice.

“Horrible, I hate her so much,” I tell him. I rest my head on his shoulder.

“How are you and Eleanor?” I ask him.

“It's nice to have her as a friend again but that's all I see her as, a friend.” I yawn loudly and let my eyes close, letting sleep overcome me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Now, we are going to take fan questions,” we are all at a press conference.

“Harry, what do you love the most about Taylor?” a girls asks. I can tell she is a Haylor fan. I put on my best acting face and smile.

“She's just such a good person and she's really down to earth,” I say with a fake smile. The next question is asked by a older girl, she looks to be sixteen.

“This question is for all of you, if you could chose one member of the band to date, who would it be?” she asks. I look to Louis and smile.

I speak first, “I would date Louis,” I say trying not to blush. Simon gives me a stern look.

“And I'd marry you, Harry,” Louis says with a smirk.

“I don't know, probably Louis,” Liam says with a smile. Niall bits his lip.

“Zayn, but he's more like a brother to me,” he says. Zayn looks at the girl with disgust. Simon gives him an evil glare. Zayn sighs and imitates a girl.

“I'd totally date Harry,” he says jokingly. I try my best not to roll my eyes at him. The rest of the conference goes smoothly. We have tour rehearsals later that day. We leave for the U.S tour next week. I'm actually looking forward to the tour, I won't have to deal with my 'relationship' with Taylor and I can get away from management.

Louis and I are packing when I get a call from Simon. I pick up my phone.

“I booked an opening act for the tour,” he says.

“Who?” I ask. I have the phone on speaker.

“Taylor Swift, she will be touring with you guys,” he says. I argue with Simon for a little bit than hang up.

“Well, the tour is officially ruined,” I say looking to Louis.

“It's not necessarily ruined, we'll figure it out,” he says. I hug him and then kiss his lips. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louis and I are at rehearsals.

“Great job, lets take five,” Paul says. I walk over to the food and take a big sip of water.

“You okay?” Louis asks me.

“Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired,” I say. I sit down on the floor of the dance studio.

“Are your ballet skills wearing off, Harry?” Zayn asks in a mocking voice. I wipe sweat off my forehead. Niall laughs and smiles as he and Zayn go over to the food table. Liam walks over to us and sits next to me.

“Who ever thought daddy Zayn would become the bully,” he says with a sigh.

“You've always been better at being the daddy of one direction, anyway,” I say. He smiles. I rest my head on Louis' lap.

“You normally don't get this tired,” he says with concern. He runs his fingers through my sweaty curls that are tied back with a bandana. Zayn and Niall glare at us. Louis kisses my forehead. Liam smiles as he pats my shoulder.

“Breaks over!” Paul shouts. I stand up weakly and use every ounce of energy left in me to get through the rest of the day.


	15. Chapter 15

Louis' POV;

“I'm going to miss you so much,” Eleanor whispers in my ear as I hug her.

“Me too,” I tell her.

“Call me everyday, I'll be at, at least one of the shows,” she says. Our foreheads are pressed together. 

“I will,” I say. She kisses my lips then hugs me.

“See you in a month,” she says as she pulls away. I walk to the tour bus. Harry sits on the steps to the bus.

“Where's Taylor?” I ask him.

“The devil isn't here yet,” he says. I smile and place a hand on his thigh.

“I feel nothing when I'm with her,” I tell him.

“And I feel nothing when I'm with Taylor,” he says. I see cameras out of the corner of my eye. Taylor pulls up all smiles. She runs into Harry's arms and kisses his lips with passion.

Simon walks over with Zayn, Niall, and Liam.

“So here are the room arrangements, Zayn and Niall, Liam and Louis, and Taylor and Harry.” Harry's eyes drop as Taylor smiles.

“Okay, time for me to go,” Simon says. We all hug Simon then board the bus. We spend the next couple of hours in the game room. When night comes, it is hard. I haven’t slept alone in a while. I lay wide awake in the bottom of the bunk beds. At around midnight, Harry sneaks in the room.

“Can't sleep?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I say as he hops in the bunk bed.

“Same,” he says. We snuggle together and fall asleep in each other's arms. I am woken up early by Harry.

“I have to go back to Taylor,” he says as he stands up. He kisses my check then leaves the room.

Harry's POV;

I enter my room and go to my bed. Taylor opens her eyes. She walks over to me and kisses my lips.

“Morning,” she whispers. Her hands travel down my chest.

“Morning.” She continues to kiss my lips. I pull away from her.

“What's wrong?” she asks.

“I'm just hungry,” I say.

“Okay, lets eat,” she says. She grabs my hand and we walk into the kitchen. I pour myself a bowl of cereal.

“Aren't you going to pour me some?” she asks.

“Can't you get it yourself?” She looks at me with wide eyes.

“What do you want?” I ask her. I get her some Cheerios and then lean against the counter. When we finish our food she comes over to me and lets her lips connect with mine. Her hands travel all over my chest. I pull back.

“What?” she asks.

“Nothing,” I say as I kiss her lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The concert goes amazing that night. I spend the night in Louis' room again. The week we spend at Vegas. We are performing two shows there and some interviews. Simon made me do a interview with Taylor.

“So who is the romantic one in the relationship?” I look at the floor.

“Harry is at times,” she says.

“Harry, what is one message that you want to inspire people with?” a person in the audience asks.

“I want to inspire people to be themselves, and to not care what others think,” I say. Maybe I should start taking my own advice.

“What do you have to say about Larry?” someone asks.

“I think that it is total bull, I mean I'm obviously straight.”

Later that night I go on twitter, and I look up larry. There are a lot of tweets and videos about it. Some negative, some positive. Some fans see right through my lies. And some go beyond just believing them. I hate lying. I feel like I'm dwindling, becoming less and less each day that I spend living a lie. Am I going to have to live my whole life like this? Will I ever get to truly be me? Will things ever go back to normal between Niall, Zayn, and I? Will I ever get to kiss the man that I love in public?


	16. Chapter 16

Louis' POV;

I sit in the game room with Liam. Harry and Taylor are watching TV. Taylor sits on his lap and Harry's arms are around her waist.

“You okay?” Liam asks me. I shake my head. Liam puts his hand on my knee.

“Things will get better, they can't make you guys hide forever.” Every emotion in my body has gone numb. I can feel myself getting lost. Tears fall from my eyes and I leave the room. I enter my room and sit in the corner of the room. I let the tears fall. The door opens and Harry appears. I wipe away my tears and fake a smile.

“You been crying?” he asks me. He sits down next to me. I nod my head.

“Louis, I have no feelings for Taylor whatsoever, the only reason I've been so affectionate with her is because she is starting to notice how distant I am,” he says.

“I believe you, but it doesn't mean this is okay.”

Harry gives me a sincere look. “This is so messed up, we shouldn't have to hide our love, we should be happy and out. Not hiding scared,” I tell him.

“You think I wanna hide our love? We don't have a choice, I would gladly come out if it weren't for management.” He places his hand on my thigh.

“What are we going to do?” I ask him.

“We're are going to play their little game until we find a way to win,” he says.

“Okay.” Harry leans in and lets his lips collide with mine. It feels so good to have him in my arms again.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too.” We pull back and stand up.

Later that day, Eleanor arrives for the show. She is going to stay with me for the next week. Eleanor runs into my arms and wraps her legs around me. I kiss her lips and she kisses back with passion. That night, Eleanor and I are forced to share a bed. At around midnight, I wake up to see that Eleanor is gone. I go out in the kitchen and find her drinking water on the counter. I walk over to her and place my body in between her legs. She kiss my lips. Her hands travel to my shirt as she deepens the kiss. In sudden impulse I take her shirt off. My hands travel to her bra and I unhook it. She removes my shirt while still kissing me.

Harry's POV;

I am woken up by a nightmare again. I get up and leave my room. I hear noises from the kitchen. I walk into the kitchen and am shocked by the sight. Eleanor is on the counter, Louis kisses her neck as he places a hand on her breast. She moans. He kisses his way down her belly. If I didn't already know, I would mistake him for being straight. I have seen enough. I leave the room and run outside. It is pouring rain outside but I don't care. I run into the woods and lean my head against a tree. I let the tears slip out. I sob and scream, I sink to the ground and bury my head in between my legs.

Louis' POV;

 

Eleanor and I are now completely bare. I kiss her neck. She bites her lip and smiles.

“I love you,” she says. I pull away from her and she looks to me.

“Please say something,” she says as she grabs her shirt to cover her chest. I stay quiet. She looks at me with despair.

“Wow,” she mutters as she throws her shirt back on.

“If you don't love me then why did you get back together with me? Was I just a sex toy to you? Did I ever mean anything to you?” she yells at me as she gets dressed. I pull my boxers on.

“I did love you once,” I say.

“Did?” she asks.

“I don't love you anymore,” I say. She smacks me straight across the face.

“Unbelievable, we're done. For good now,” she says as she leaves me alone in the kitchen. I descend onto the floor and I let myself sob. Who have I become?


	17. Chapter 17

Harry's POV;

“If you wouldn't mind, I would like to do a cover for you guys,” I tell the fans. The crowd goes crazy. “I've been going through some crazy shit, this song really explains what I'm going through. Hope you like it.” I go over to the middle of the stage and sit on the chair by the piano, I set my fingers on the keys. I then start to sing.

“Your fingertips across my skin The palm trees swaying in the wind Images You sang me Spanish lullabies The sweetest sadness in your eyes Clever trick Well I never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye my almost lover Goodbye my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance My back is turned on you Should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do We walked along a crowded street You took my hand and danced with me Images And when you left you kissed my lips You told me you would never ever forget These images Well I'd never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye my almost lover Goodbye my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance My back is turned on you Should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind So you're gone and I'm haunted And I bet you are just fine Did I make it that Easy to walk right in and out Of my life? Goodbye my almost lover Goodbye my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance My back is turned on you Should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do.”

All of the guys stare at me speechless. Tears are rolling down my checks. I see some fans crying.

“We love you, Harry!” a girl shouts.

The crowd all joins in and shout, “we love you, Harry.” Would they still love me if they knew the real me? I smile and wipe away my tears.

“Now, let's get this show moving,” I shout. After the show all of the guys give me sympathetic looks. Louis pulls me aside before we go into the tour bus.

“Was that song about us?” he asks.

“Yes,” I tell him.

“W-what did I do?” he asks. I look at him with disgust.

“What did you do? You told me you love me, and then you go around and have sex with Eleanor!” I yell at him.

“I had to, It didn't mean anything,” he says quietly.

“You didn't have to sleep with her! You had to date her that's all!” I shout at him.

“And you're telling me that you didn't have sex with Taylor?!?” he yells at me.

“No I didn't, cause sex means something to me, unlike it does to you,” I shout. He doesn't say a word.

“I-I'm sorry,” he says.

“It's too late,” I snap. I walk into the tour bus and leave him behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rehearsals are hard, and tiring. The tour is only half way done. Each day, we have a three hour rehearsal, and then right after we perform. Tonight, we perform in New York. I am exhausted. I haven't been sleeping and working nonstop doesn't help.

 

Towards the end of the show, I start feeling lightheaded. I dance as I sing the lyrics to Diana. “We all need something,This can't be over now,If I could hold you,Swear I'd never put you down.” As I go into the chorus, I feel my legs become weak, and my head starts spinning. My legs let out underneath me and I collapse to the ground. The next I know, everything goes black.


	18. Chapter 18

Louis' POV;

I wait anxiously in the waiting room with the rest of the band. My head is buried in my hands. I let tears escape from my eyes. How could I be so ignorant? I love Harry with all my heart. I'm in love with him. But I got caught up with hiding our love, and now he may be gone forever. “He is in a coma, he is very weak, but we suspect that he will wake up soon,” the nurse says. “Can I see him?” I ask her. “Sure,” she says. I walk into the small room. Harry lays on the bed hooked up to monitors. I take a seat on the chair next to him.

“I'm so sorry for everything. I lost myself through concealing my feelings for you. I love you. I am in love with you. You taught me that the best way to describe feelings is through for song, so I am going to sing.” I sing acapella.

“If I don't say this now I will surely break As I'm leaving the one I want to take Forget the urgency but hurry up and wait My heart has started to separate Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby I'll look after you There now, steady love, so few come and don't go Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know? When I'm losing my control, the city spins around You're the only one who knows, you slow it down Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby I'll look after you And I'll look after you If ever there was a doubt My love he leans into me This most assuredly counts he says most assuredly Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby I'll look after you (After you) Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby Oh, oh, oh It's always have and never hold You've begun to feel like home What's mine is yours to leave or take What's mine is yours to make your own Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby Oh, oh, oh.”

Harry's eyes open.

“I lost myself too, once, and did some things I'm not proud of, I guess I understand. I forgive you,” he says. I smile and kiss his lips.

“I can't hide our love anymore,” I tell him.

“I talked to Simon, he agreed to let us come out. He scheduled for all of us to be on Oprah, next week to tell everyone. We still have to finish tour, and he added more interviews onto the schedule.” He smiles and kisses my lips.

Harry's POV;

 

I have been released from the hospital for a couple days now. Today Liam is turning 21. All of the boys, Paul, and I are in the game room. There is a huge cake in the middle of the table and some wine. Liam blows out the candles and we eat the cake. Everyone, including Zayn and Niall got Liam a gift.

“Thank you, group hug?” he says with a smile. We all hug him. It almost feels like the old times.

“You know what I want for my birthday,” he says.

“What?” He looks at all of us.

“I want you all to get along for one day,” he says. We all agree to get along for one day. We have the day off, so we go out and play some football. We have a lot of fun and we get along for once. I wish we could stay like this. But tomorrow, things will go back to normal.


	19. Chapter 19

Louis's POV;

We ride in a private jet to get to Chicago. Liam, Harry, and I sit on one side and Niall and Zayn sit on the other. Liam brought Shophia with him and Zayn brought Perrie.

“You two are so cute,” Sophia says with a smile. Zayn glares at us.

“It's absolutely disgusting,” I hear Zayn say to Niall. Niall nods. I have to say I expected Zayn to disapprove but I didn't think he would be this bad. And innocent little Niall, I never expected that, I guess he is catholic. Harry is fast asleep on my shoulder. I hand Liam my phone and make him take a photo.

“I wonder how the fans are going to react,” Liam says.

“It'll probably be mixed reviews,” I say.

“They're going to hate us,” Zayn snaps. I look over to him, Perrie is sleeping with her head against the window.

Niall stays silent. He hasn't said a word to us since we told him.

“Niall?” I ask. He ignores me and pretends to be sleeping. I miss joking around with Niall and Zayn, I miss our friendship. I hope they come back to us someday. Liam pulls the divider so we can't see or hear them.

“That's better,” he says.

“I can't believe them...I never thought Niall and Zayn were the people to be so arrogant,” Sophia says.

“Yeah, me either,” I say.

We are backstage at Oprah's show.

“You're on in 5 minutes,” the lady tells us. Simon enters the room.

“Remember, you guys are now closer than before and it hasn't changed the band at all,” he says. We nod.

“Okay, go out there,” he says.

Harry's POV;

We all sit on a couch across from Oprah.

“How are you feeling, Harry?” she asks.

“Much better,” I say.

“That was scary, do they know what caused it?” she asks.

“I think it was a mix of dehydration, fatigue, and lack of iron.” I look to the crowd.

“So, I hear that you all have some big news to tell us,” she says. “Yeah,” Liam says as he looks to Louis and I.

“We love our fans, and I haven't been honest with them lately, so I'm coming clean,” Louis says. He takes a deep breath.

“I'm bi,” he tells everyone. The crowd breaks out with noise. Most of them are gasping and OMGing.

Some are saying, “I knew it!” and some say, “What? This can't be right!” Louis looks to me as his hand squeezes my thigh. My heart pounds in my chest.

“I haven't been honest either,” I say. Everyone quiets down and stares at me.

“I'm also bi, Louis and I have been dating for a couple months now,” I say.

The crowd breaks out again with commotion. Even Oprah looks surprised. They cut to commercial.

“We're out,” Louis whispers in my ear.

“It's about time,” I say with a smile. I feel relief, like I can finally breathe again.

“I'm so proud of you,” Oprah tells us.

“Thanks,” we both say.

“Not many people in this life, have the courage to come out,” she tells us.

“We've been wanting to come out for a while, it was management that made us keep it a secret,” I tell her. The break is over and Oprah introduces us again. This time, there isn't as much cheering, some clap and some boo.

“When did you realize that you had feelings for each other?” she asks us.

“Well, I guess it was when Eleanor told me she loved me, I just didn't love her back.”

“I was in denial for a while, but I finally faced the truth when Louis was yelling at me and I just snapped. The truth slipped out of my mouth before I even knew it was the truth.” Oprah smiles at us.

“What was your reaction to their relationship?” she asks the rest of the band. Liam looks to us and smiles.

“I was happy for them, they're adorable together. I think that they make each other better people,” he says with a smile. Zayn glares at me.

“I'm a huge supporter of the gays so I was so happy for them. I even offered for Perrie to take Harry dress shopping,” he says. Hatred lurks between us. Niall stares at the ground. “I'm happy they're happy,” he says. He doesn't say another word.

“How did management react?” she asks.

“They were not happy. They made us hide our relationship. They got Harry a beard. And made me get back together with Eleanor,” Louis tells them.

“How did you guys handle that?” she asks. “Not well, it's hard to hide who you are. It's the worst thing in the world. It eats away at your soul.” I squeeze Louis' hand and he smiles.

“I had trouble too, I think the worst part is lying to the fans. I also had to deal with Taylor Swift. She was my beard. I had to pretend that I had feelings for that girl, when I hated her,” I say. The rest of the interview goes by smoothly.

After the show we go out to the audience. A girl about 16 years old, with short brown hair comes up to Louis and I. She hugs us.

“I'm so happy for you,” she tells us. We take a photo with her and sign an autograph. Other fans aren't as nice. Some just takes pictures with Liam, Niall, and Zayn, and try to avoid us. Some fans don't even see any of us, they just leave with sad eyes. I feel bad for ruining the fandom but I can't change who I am.


	20. Chapter 20

Louis' POV;

We are back on the road, for the next stop, Ohio and then Michigan. The sleeping arrangements have been changed. Harry and I share a room, Niall and Liam, and Perrie is visiting, so she shares a room with Zayn. I enter my room and see that Harry is fast asleep in our bed. I take out my ipad and go on twitter. I should've just left it alone but I opened my notifications. I read some of the tweets.

“@Louis_Tomlinson I'm so happy for you and @Harry_Styles You two belong together.”

“@LouisTomlinson and @Harry_Styles thank you. Thank you for breaking the only thing that made me happy. Goodbye. I refuse to stay in this broken fandom. #RIPDirectioners”

“@Louis_Tomlinson and @Harry_Styles burn in hell. You just committed the worst sin known to man.” 

“@Louis_Tomlinson and @Harry_Styles kill yourselves now before you loose all your fans.”

That one hurt the worst.

How could people be so cruel. Telling us to kill ourselves? It's one thing not to support us but to say we deserve to die! Tears burn my checks. I go to the trending section. The top trends are, #Larry, Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, #DieLarry, and #RIPDirectioners. There are several videos over the web. I click on one of the news stories. “Two members of One Direction, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson came out last week causing quite a commotion. Thousands fans are outraged by this, while others are happy for the guys. Police have reported that over a hundred girls have committed suicide claiming that Larry is the reason for their death.” I drop the iPad to the bed and get up. I go into the bathroom.

I look at my reflection. Friendships have been torn, a fandom has been broken and lives have been taken all because of who I love. Hurt and despair take over my soul. I smash the mirror with my fist. It shatters along with my heart. My fist is a bloody mess but I don't care, I deserve it. I drop to the floor and sob.

“Louis?” a voice calls. I look up to see Harry. He looks to the broken mirror then to my bleeding fist. He grabs paper towel and wraps it around my fist. Tiny pieces of glass are planted in my fist. He sits on the floor next to me. He gently starts to pull the first piece of glass from my hand.

“Why'd you do this?” he asks. I am still crying.

“They hate us, Haz. People have died all cause of us,” I say. He pulls out a piece of glass, as I scream.

“What do you mean?” he asks. He starts to work on the next piece.

“Fans have killed themselves because of us,” I say. I don't make eye contact with him. I just stare into nothingness.

He pulls another piece out, I hold back the scream this time.

“It's all our fault,” I mutter. He drops the towel and puts his bloody hands on my face.

“Look at me,” he says. I force myself to look into his eyes.

“Did either of us tell anyone to kill themselves?” he asks with a soft voice. I shake my head.

“Then it is not our fault. They are the ones that pulled the trigger, not me, not you. I love you and I don't care what anyone thinks.” He wraps his arms around me. I cry into his arms. We stay like that for a while.

“Let's get the rest of that glass out of your hand,” he says as he pulls away.

Harry pulls the rest of the glass out of my hand. He stands up and looks for something to wrap my fist up with.

"You guys okay?” two voices ask. Niall and Liam appear.

“Yeah, do you know where a first aid kit is?” Harry asks them.

“Yeah, I'll show you,” Liam says as he leads Harry out of the room. Niall observes the bathroom, he then looks at me.

“You can leave if you want,” I mutter.

“What happened?” he asks. His eyes look sincere.

“I smashed the mirror,” I say. He bends down and looks at my hand.

“Why?” he asks as he meets my eyes.

“I miss you, Niall,” I tell him. He looks back down at my hand.

“You've seen me everyday for the past month,” he mutters.

“You know what I mean,” I say. He sighs and looks up at me.

“I miss you, too.” I gaze into his eyes, but he refuses to look into mine.

“Will things ever go back to the way they were?” I ask him. He looks at me with sympathy. He only says one word.

“No.” Harry and Liam arrive with gauze.

“Good night,” Liam calls as him and Niall leave. Harry wraps up my hand.

“Do you ever wish we could go back to the old times?” I ask him.

“No, do you?” I look to him.

“Sometimes.”


	21. Chapter 21

Harry's POV;

I am worried about Louis. He hasn't been acting himself lately. We are at tour rehearsals.

“How did you do that?” Paul questions Louis. Louis looks to the floor.

“It was an accident,” I say.

“Okay, well we're going to have to reconstruct the whole show,” he says. We learn our new routines, and then break for lunch.

“Louis, lets go out for lunch,” I tell him. He nods his head. “We can go to Subway,” I say. We leave the dance studio and go to Subway. We order our food and sit down. “Are you excited for the show tonight?” I ask him. He doesn't say a word. “Lou, are you okay?” I ask him. Nothing. “Do you wanna hear a joke?” I ask him. Nothing.

“Why can't wizards have kids?” I say. Nothing. “This is where you say what,” I say. Nothing. “Wizards can't have kids cause they have crystal balls.” Nothing. Skinny Love comes on the radio. I smile at him. “Remember, Lou, this is our song.” Nothing. So I start to sing in the middle of Subway.

“Come on skinny love just last the year, Pour a little salt you were never here, My my my, my my my, my-my my-my...Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer.” Louis joins in with me.

“Tell my love to wreck it all, Cut out all the ropes and let me fall, My my my, my my my, my-my my-my...Right in the moment this order's tall.” People look at us like we're crazy, what we do next, only convinces them of it.

I stand up and put my hand out for him.

“May I have this dance?” I ask with a grin planted on my face. A smile creeps on his face as he takes my hand in his. We then dance in the middle of Subway. We ignore the stares and cameras. I place my hand on his back, and we dance. I spin him around a couple of time. We sing along as we dance.

“And I told you to be patient, And I told you to be fine, And I told you to be balanced, And I told you to be kind, And now all your love is wasted, Then who the hell was I? 'Cause now I'm breaking at the britches, And at the end of all your lies.”

As the end of the song nears, I do the famous dip move. Our lips meet as the last verse is played. We continue to kiss and his hands find my curls. Tongues enter mouths. Lips connect again and again. And cameras are flashed.

We pull away and I hug him.

“I love you,” I whisper in his ear.

“I love you too,” he whispers back. We finish eating then leave the diner. We go back to rehearsals. Fans are crowded around the entrance to the dance studio. Paparazzi walks backwards, just to get photos of us. They shout random shit at us. I remember Justin Bieber telling one time that on his 17th birthday, paparazzi followed him to his car and asked him if he was old enough to drive. Louis and I are very different, that's what attracts us to each other, but the one thing we agree on is that paparazzi sucks.

“How does it feel to crush people's dreams?” I grab Louis' hand as we try to get through the packed crowd.

“Is this whole gay thing a stunt to get publicity?”

“Did your family disown you, Harry?”

“Harry, how does it feel to be a sex symbol?”

“Do you two ever smoke weed together?”

sometimes I can just laugh at the things they say. Sometimes, I ignore it. And sometimes they go too far.

“Are either one of you the devil?”

“Are you aware that you are the cause of 500 suicides?”

“Are you still Christian, Harry?”

“Are you aware that you two have committed the worst sin known to man?”

“How does it feel to be the most hated band?” I stop walking. The guy looks at me with a smile. I grab the camera from him in one sudden movement. I put the camera on him.

“Are you aware that people all over the world hate you?” I spat at him.

“Did your family disown you when they found out that you stalk people for a living?” Everyone is staring at me.

“I am bi, it's who I am. If being bi is a sin then stalking people might as well be too,” I yell. Louis tugs on my hand.

“And one more thing, how does it feel to be a stalker?” I shout as I smash the expensive video camera to the ground. I then walk towards the building, sign a few autographs then go inside.


	22. Chapter 22

Louis' POV;

The boys and I stand looking out at a huge crowd at Madison Square Garden. We are behind the stage, getting ready to go on. I notice that some seats are empty, actually a lot are empty.

“Didn't we sell out?” I ask.

“Yeah,” Paul says.

“Then where is everyone?” I ask. Paul looks at the floor, avoiding eye contact.

“It's our fault isn't it?” Paul nods.

“We're sorry guys, we kinda ruined our biggest show. But we can't help who we fall for,” I say as I look at Harry. Harry smiles at me as we take our places. The intro starts. Fans scream. We raise up one at a time, all in different places across the arena. Once we are all up, the music starts. I hear lots of screams, but I hear something else too. Booing. People are booing us at our own concert.

Harry looks terrified. I remember when he messed up his solo on XFactor. He was devastated. The booing doesn't stop. Niall starts to sing. Harry just stands there when it goes to his solo. The booing gets louder. He is too far away from me for me to comfort him. Liam sings Harry's part. Later that night, when we were singing Best Song Ever, a fan held up a sign. It read; Larry and had a huge red x over it. We were doing our dance moves and singing when something cold and icy hit my face. I stop what I'm doing and touch my face. Red ice is in my hand. I look over and see that we all have red icy in our hair. More stuff hits us. This time it is eggs. They are coming from everywhere.

I walk to the middle of the stage.

“I don't get it,” I say as I let the eggs continue to hit me. “You guys were supposed to be our fans. Fans support the artist through anything and everything. And here, you are, throwing eggs at the people you once called your idols. All because of who we truly are.” Everyone stares at me with wide eyes.

“This isn't who you are!!!” a girl shouts.

“This is who I am, whether you like it or not, I am bi. And nothing will change that. So throw all the eggs, and boo all you want, it won't change who we are.” Harry steps up beside me. We intertwine our fingers and raise it in the air. Eggs come flying at us. They hit our faces, hair, hands, clothes, shoes, even our eyes. We are then hit by something hard. Our one direction dolls hit the floor. They are using our own merchandise to hurt us. Liam is behind us.

“Come on, they're going to knock you out,” he says to us. We all run backstage.

I take a seat on the couch. Niall hands both of us a towel. “I can't believe our own fans would do this to us,” I say. Harry stares blankly at the towel. He looks tormented. Paul walks in the room with Simon. 

“What do you guys wanna do?” Paul asks.

“We can't go back out there, look at us,” Liam says.

“They obviously don't wanna see us anyway,” Zayn says.

“Okay, load onto the bus, I'll go out there and tell them the show's off.” Harry is shaking and still hasn't moved.

“Harry, come on,” I say. He doesn't budge. I get up and grab his arm. I drag him up and to the bus. We go to our room.

“Are you going to wash off?” I ask him. Nothing. I take him over to the bathroom floor and get some towels. I get them wet and then start to clean off the eggs on Harry.

 

“They really got us good,” I say. He doesn't say a word. “We're both going to need a shower to get this out.” He just stares at the tile floor. I turn on the water.

“Do you want to go first?” I ask him. Nothing. “I'll shower first then,” I say. He doesn't move. I start to undress.

“Is it really worth all of this?” he suddenly asks. I am now in only my boxers. I sink next to him.

“Yes, if it wasn't worth it, I wouldn't of told the world. If it wasn't worth it, I wouldn't of stood up in front of all those people today and let them throw eggs at me. If it wasn't worth it, I wouldn't be sitting here next to you.” He nods his head. He pulls me into a hug.

“You're so strong, I wish I was as strong as you,” he says to me.

“You're just as strong as me, you stood up with me tonight. That takes a lot of strength. And last week, you were the one comforting me. We bring each other up when we're down. That's how relationships work.” I get up and grab a fresh towel.

“I need to shower,” I say.

“C-can I join you?” he asks. I look at him stunned.

“Of course you can.” I step in the shower and seconds later, Harry joins me.

“I love you,” I tell him. We stand facing each other, letting the water hit our faces. I take both his hands into mine. We lock our fingers together.

“See how perfectly our hands fit together?” I ask him. He looks at our hands then to my face.

“Like puzzle pieces,” he says as he stares at my face.

“Exactly, like puzzle pieces, we fit perfectly together. We belong together. People can rearrange the puzzle how many times they want but no matter what, the pieces only fit to each other. Just like us.” Harry smiles.

“You should be a poet,” he says. We smile at each other, holding hands, letting the water hit us. In one sudden movement, Harry's lips are on mine and my arms are around him.


	23. Chapter 23

Harry's POV;

We've had three concerts since the incident at the Garden. Nothing like that has happened at those concerts. We don't have many shows left of the US tour. But after, we have the European tour. We are in Mami, Florida so we are all going to the ocean before rehearsals. Today is also Niall's 21st birthday. It's weird being the youngest in the band. Three of the guys are 21, or turning 21 and Louis is turning 23 this year. And I only just turned 20 in February. Niall's girlfriend, Barbara Palvin flew out to see him. She runs into his arms and they kiss. We walk towards the water.

“Let's go in the water,” I say to Louis. I love swimming, especially in the ocean. Louis pulls his shirt off. 

“Are you guys going to swim?” Louis asks Liam and Zayn.

“I will later,” Liam says. Zayn lays out on a towel with his iPhone.

“Let's go!” I say as I pull on Louis' arm.

“Okay, okay,” he says as he starts walking.

“Race you there?” he says with a wink. A grin stretches across my face. We count down then run towards the water like five year olds. I reach the water first.

“Beat ya!” I shout. We swim out into the deep waters.

“When was the last time you went swimming?” Louis asks me as I let the salt water sink into my skin.

“Since before tour,” I say.

“Look!” Louis says as he points to a bird. Birds are my favorite animal. I swim up to it and it doesn't move. I reach my hand out to pet the bird. My hand touches the bird's feathers.

“It's so sweet,” I say with a huge grin. Louis swims up to it. He goes to pet it and it bites him.

I laugh as Louis holds up his bleeding finger.

“That really hurt. I hate birds,” he whines.

“Do you want me to kiss it to make it feel better?” He nods his head. I kiss his finger.

“Anything else hurt?” I ask him.

“I think he got right here,” he says as he points to his lips.

“You are so cheesy,” I say as I roll my eyes. He smirks.

“Alright,” I say as I sigh. I then kiss his lips with passion. He deepens the kiss. I wrap my legs around his torso and his arms hold me up as we continue to kiss. He starts kissing down my neck.

“Damn, do I love you,” I say as I bring his lips back up to mine. He kisses down my neck again, he kisses each of my tattoos.

A huge wave comes and I am thrown into the water. We both laugh as water squirts out our noses. He throws his arms around me and laughs into my chest. I kiss his forehead and he looks up at me. He kisses my lips.

“See now, it is worth it,” he says. I jokingly push him away.

“Shut up,” I say with a smile. Our lips connect with pure lust. I wish we could just stay in this moment forever. Cause right here, right now, in this moment, everything is perfect. No fans, no media, no paparazzi, no Zayn, just us and pure, true love.


	24. Chapter 24

Harry's POV;

I wake up early that morning. It is the last day of the U.S. Tour. It is also Louis' and I anniversary. I go to the kitchen and pull out the stuff to make Louis' favorite breakfast. I make some bacon and fried egg and cheese sandwiches.

“What smells so good?” Niall asks me.

“Today is Louis' and I six month anniversary,” I tell him. He takes a seat. He eats a piece of bacon.

“You really love him, don't you?” he asks. I am surprised that Niall is even talking to me.

“Yes, I do,” I tell him. He gets up and walks to the door.

“Niall,” I suddenly say. He turns around.

“What?” I look into his once innocent blue eyes.

“Will we ever be friends again?” I ask. He looks anywhere but at me.

“I don't think I can,” he says.

“Why?” I ask.

“I just can't support this relationship. It's a sin and wrong.” His honest blue eyes gaze at me.

“But you can support me, right?” I say. He sighs and looks over at me.

“I just can't Haz, you have to understand that.” I look at the bacon then back up to Niall.

“I miss you,” I tell him.

“I miss you too,” he mutters before he leaves the room.

I finish cooking the food and put it on a plate. Louis and Liam come in the room laughing.

“What is this for?” Liam asks as he looks at me then to Louis. Louis grins as he make his way over to me. He slides his arms around my waist.

“Today is our six month anniversary,” Louis says as he rests his head on my shoulder.

“I'll let you two have some alone time then,” he says with a smile as he goes to the game room.

“You did all of this for me?” he asks me.

“Yeah,” I say with a grin.

“You're the best boyfriend ever!” he says as he kisses my cheek. He then grabs his plate and sits down. I take a seat next to him with my plate.

“This is amazing,” he says as he takes a bite.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are you taking me?” I ask Louis as he leads me somewhere. He has a blindfold over my eyes. We just finished rehearsals, and Louis told me that he has a surprise for me.

“You'll see,” he says. I hear him open a door. We walk into a room.

“Okay, you can take it off,” he says. I take the blindfold off and see that we are in the game room.

“We're just in the game room,” I say. He smiles as he looks in the corner of the room. I look to where he's looking at and see a bird cage. I go over to the cage. Inside are two birds. They are both small. They are green with red on their faces.

“They're Peached-Faced Lovebirds,” Louis says as he sets his arm on my shoulder.

“Their names are Harold and Lulu,” he says.

“Like Harry and Louis,” I say with a smile. I open the cage and pet one of the birds. It steps onto my hand and I take it out of the cage. I stroke it's feathers and it closes it's eyes.

“They're so cute! Thank you,” I say as I hug Louis while still keeping the bird on my hand. The bird flies to Louis' head and sits in his hair.

“It better not poop on me,” Louis says.

“It won't, now kiss me you fool,” I say with a grin. Louis closes the space between us and our lips connect, and our tongues collide.

 

After the concert, Paul asks for Louis and I to pickup some food. When we get back, everything is silent.

“Where is everyone?” Louis asks.

“I don't know,” I say. We open the door to our room. The lights are off but candles light up the room. I turn the light on to see Liam, Paul, Simon, Niall, and the bus driver. There is a some table set up with some food.

“You guys are the best,” Louis says with a smile. We all hug. As we pull away I look to Niall.

“I thought you said you couldn't support us?” I say to him.

“I don't but that doesn't mean I don't want you two to be happy,” he says with a smile.

“No Zayn?” Louis asks. They all shake their heads.

“We told him what we were doing, he wanted no part in it,” Liam says. They leave the room and turn the lights off. Louis and I eat the dinner that they prepared for us.

“Wow, they really went all out, candles, flowers, wine, even little hearts on the bed,” Louis says as he takes a sip of his glass.

“Yeah,” I say as I look at the candles. “Are we going to do this or what?” Louis says as he goes to the bed.

“Yeah, it's not like we haven't done it before,” I say as I take a seat on the bed.

“Exactly,” Louis says as he kisses my lips. I kiss him hard with passion, forcing him to fall back onto the bed. My hands go to his shirt. I remove his shirt as he starts kissing down my neck. He removes my shirt and kisses down my belly. His fingers go to my belt.

“You ready?” he asks.

“Yeah.”


	25. Chapter 25

Louis' POV;

Today we finally return home for a week, then we go back on tour. Harry and I pull up to our flat. We look out the car to see the flat is surrounded by people. People of all ages hold hand made signs. I look to Harry. We then get out of the car. A five year old boy holds a sign that reads; Gays burn in hell. 

“What the hell is this?” Harry asks me. I shake my head. They shout at us hateful words and push us away from our own home. I grab Harry's hand and make my way through the crowd. They push and shove us. We make it to our door and look out at the sea of people. I read one of the signs. I then realize who they are. The most hated people in the world, the people of Westboro Baptist Church. I pull Harry inside the house.

“Who are those people? Why are they here? They obviously aren't fans,” Harry says confused.

“I watched a special on them. They are part of the Westboro Baptist Church. They picket different events. They believe in crazy shit,” I say hoping Harry won't push it further.

“Like what?” he asks. I sigh and sit on the couch.

“They picketed one of our shows back on the Take Me Home tour. They think that we're crotch grabbing perverts. They believe that being gay is like being Satan. They think that you're evil and should burn in hell if you're gay.” Harry looks at me with wide eyes. He looks out the window at all of the people.

“All of those people think that? Even the kids?” I nod my head. He goes over the sofa and lays down.

I get up and lay on his chest. “Why can't the world just see that we love each other?” he asks as he plays with my messy hair.

“I think they see that we love each other, they just can't accept it,” I say. He sighs and lets go of my locks.

“I feel like we're in Romeo and Juliet,” he says.

“I think this is worse than that.” I look into his beautiful green eyes.

“Shit.” he looks away from my gaze.

“We've lost so much all because of this. We lost our fans, our privacy, we even fucking lost our best friends,” he says as he stares up at the ceiling. He pauses before going on. “But it's worth it.” I let a smile cross my lips. I plant a kiss on his lips.

“You damn right it is,” I whisper to him. I feel him smile through our kiss.

The crowd doesn't go away. “How long are they going to stay here?” he asks.

“I don't know, they'll gotta go sometime,” I say. Their shouting keeps us up the entire night. We can hear everything that they are yelling. Every single horrible thing. Harry and I lay on our bed cuddling. I feel Harry tense up in my arms every time they mention his name. My arms are around his waist and his arms are over mine.

“How can you still call yourselves Christians?!?!?God hates you!!” They yell.

“That's it, I've had enough of them,” Harry says as he gets up. I follow him out into the hallways. He puts his shoes on.

“Harry, don't go out there,” I plead.

“I can't let them get away with this,” he says as he goes outside. I want to follow him outside but I don't.

 

I go to the kitchen and make myself some tea. I hear yelling and arguing. I sit down and drink my tea. I should go out there but I know that if I do, I will end up getting myself and him in more trouble. I am startled by a loud crash followed by shouting. I get up and race to the door. I slide on my TOMs and open the door. I am horrified by the sight that I see. Harry lays on the ground and people are attacking him. They are using their signs as weapons and stabbing him with them. I try to get to Harry but a couple of teenagers start hitting me with their signs. I shout hateful words at them and they say some back.

“What is going on?” a voice shouts. I look up to see Niall, Liam, and Zayn. Some people charge them and start attacking them. That's when the gun goes off. Everyone is startled. The group runs off terrified. I get up from the ground and see Niall holding a gun. A body lays on the ground. Niall stares blankly at the body in front of him. We all stare at him. Niall sinks down and checks the person's pulse. 

“They're alive,” he says. It is then that I realize the body is Harry. I walk over to him and sink down next to him.

“I-I didn't mean to,” Niall stutters.

“Just go away!” I shout. Niall and Zayn walk off. Liam knees down next to me. Liam takes out his phone and calls 911. I hold Harry's hand and run my fingers through his curls.

“Harry please don't leave me, I love you. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you.”


	26. Chapter 26

Louis' POV;

I sit anxiously in the waiting room with Liam and Paul. Harry is in surgery, getting the bullet removed. When the police arrived on the scene, I was forced to tear apart from Harry and answer questions. I didn't tell them that Niall shot Harry, as much as I hate Niall for doing this I can't put him in jail. Niall has tried to call Liam and I several times to find out how Harry is. Sophia arrives and Liam runs into her arms. He cries into her arms.

“Shhh, it's going to be okay,” she whispers to him trying to calm him down. Liam and I were checked over when we were brought here. We just have a few scrapes and bruises. Nothing too serious.

“Louis,” a voice calls. I look up to see my mum and Harry's family. I run over to them and hug them. I sob into my mum's arms.

We've been waiting here for a couple hours now. Still no news on Harry. I have been pacing back and forth the whole time. I can't sit still. What if he doesn't make it? I don't know what I would do without Harry.

“Ms. Styles,” a voice calls. Anne gets up and walks over to the nurse. We all listen closely to what the nurse says.

“Harry's surgery was a success but his leg will have to be in a cast for a while. We are going to keep him here over night but he should be able to go home tomorrow. He will have to be on bed rest for a week and keep his movement to a minimum.” Anne thanks the nurse and she goes into Harry's room with Gemma.

I wait for my turn to see Harry. “H-how is he?” a small voice asks from behind me. I look around to see Niall. Liam stands up as he sees me tense up.

“He's awake now, but you can't be here,” Liam says calmly.

“I understand, Louis, I-I just wanted you to k-know t-that I-I didn't mean to shoot him, I just w-wanted to get everyone's attention,” Niall stutters. Niall has bags under his eyes and his eyes themselves are bloodshot.

“D-do you forgive me?” Niall pleads. His blue eyes that used to shine like the ocean are now dull and lifeless.

“You shot my boyfriend and you expect me to forgive you?!?” I yell at him. He bows his head.

“I-I'm sorry.” Liam is the one to speak up this time. “It's time for you to go,” he says to Niall. Niall nods his head and leaves the building.

 

I walk into the small room. Harry lays on the bed with monitors hooked up to him. His leg is elevated and has a cast on it. His curls are a mess and his green eyes are insipid. I move the chair next to him and sit down.

“How're you feeling?” I ask him as I brush back his curls. He looks at me weakly.

“Like shit,” he says. I let out a light chuckle.

“H-how did this happen anyway?” he asks.

“Well, you were fighting the church group and Niall I guess was trying to startle them so he shot his gun and he accidentally shot you,” I tell him.

“Niall owns a gun?” he chuckles. I nod my head and let out a laugh.

“When do I get out of here?” he asks.

“Tomorrow but you'll be on bed rest for a couple months,” I tell him.

“What about the tour?” he asks.

“We're still doing it, we're just are going to make it an acoustic tour, and on the bus you will have to stay in bed most of the time,” I tell him. I continue to run my fingers through his curls.

“Why do you always do that?” he asks.

“I don't know, they're soft,” I say. He smiles and places a hand on my chin. He then kisses my lips.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too.”


	27. Chapter 27

Louis' POV;

Harry gets to come home today. I let Harry lean his weight on me as I help him out of the hospital. We walk out and are surrounded by paparazzi and fans. Security guards guide us to the car. I open the door to the back seat and lay Harry down on the back seats. I then go and sit shotgun of Liam. I look back to Harry and see that he is sleeping. He looks so peaceful yet fragile.

“I can't believe they're still making us tour, he can barely walk and they expect him to travel on a bus and perform for the next two months,” Liam says.   
“Yeah,” I say as I continue to check on Harry.  
“Are you ever going to forgive Niall?” he asks. I turn back around and look at Liam.

“I don't know, it was an accident, will you?” Liam looks to me.

“I kinda already did,” he says with his eyes on the road.

“Why?” I ask.

“We live together, and he really didn't mean to do it. The kid hates himself for what he did. He hasn't slept since nor has he eaten.”

We pull up to our flat. I get out of the car and help Harry get to our flat. We make it inside and I take him to his bedroom. I set him on the bed and put his leg on a pillow. I then cover him with a blanket.

“You should get some sleep,” I tell him. I walk towards the door.

“Stay,” Harry calls out. I turn around and get into his bed. He turns on his side and I lay next to him with my arms around him. We just lay there, silent. But not an awkward silence. I feel Harry drift off to sleep. I rest my head on his shoulder and let sleep take over me.

I wake up the next morning. Harry is still asleep. I get up and make us breakfast. I go back into our bedroom with a plate of waffles and orange juice. Harry is sitting up leaning against the bed-board. He smiles at me as I hand him his breakfast.

“Can we watch a movie?” he asks.

“Sure, what do you want to watch?” I ask him. I sit next to him in the same position as him.

“Romeo and Juliet,” he says with a grin.

“What version?” I ask as I roll my eyes.

“The one with Leonardo DiCaprio.” I get up from the bed and find the movie. I put it in the Blu-Ray player and go back to Harry.

The end of the movie is nearing. Harry's head rests on my shoulder. I watch the final scene intensely. Tears form in my eyes as the famous scene plays out.

“Here, oh, here will I set up my

everlasting rest, and shake the yoke of inauspicious 

stars from this world-wearied flesh. Eyes look your   
last, arms take your last embrace, and lips, O you   
the doors to breath, seal with a righteous kiss. A   
dateless bargain, to engrossing death.”

 

I let the tears fall from my eyes as Romero drinks the poison. 

“Romeo. What's here? Poison. Drunk all, and left no   
friendly drop to help me after. I will kiss thy lips.   
Happily some poison yet doth hang on them. Thy lips   
are warm.”

 

I wipe away the tears only for more to fall.

 

“Thus..... with a kiss...... I die.”

With that Romero's eyes close and then Juliet kills herself. I look to Harry. He is fast asleep. We have given up so much for love already. How will our story end? Will we be willing to sacrifice it all for love? Or will we let them tear us apart until we are broken?

“See what a scourge is laid upon your hate, that   
heaven finds means to kill your joys with love.”

 

By now, tears are pouring down my face as I sob frantically. 

“A glooming peace this morning with it brings, the   
sun, for sorrow will not show his head. Go hence, to   
have more talk of these sad things. Some shall be   
pardoned and some punished. For never was a story of   
more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”


	28. Chapter 28

Harry's POV;

Rehearsals for the European tour start today. Louis helps me get change in my black skinny jeans, a white T-shirt, a jacket and sneakers, more like a sneaker. Louis hands my crutches and we go out to the car. All of us are driving to the studio together. Paul will be driving us. Louis helps me into the van. I take a seat. Louis grabs my crutches and sits next to me. I feel so weak and frail. I rest my head on Louis' shoulder. My hair is pulled away from my face with a bandana. Liam hands me a water and I drink it. Just by looking at Niall, I can tell he is in complete despair. He wears grey sweat pants, and a long sleeve white T-shirt. A baseball cap covers his blonde hair.

“Are you okay, Niall?” I ask without lifting my head.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” he says. Louis kisses my forehead.

“You two are adorable,” Liam says with a smile. Zayn has his ear buds in and rests his head on the window. Louis and Liam laugh about something but I drift off.

We arrive at the studio. Body guards surround us as Louis helps me get inside. We make it inside and see instruments set up. Paul and Simon stand in the front of the dance studio.

“So we have to completely reconstruct an entire show. We will have to change the set list a bit since some songs we can't do acoustic. How is your voice, Harry?” Simon asks.

“Fine,” I say. We work on changing the set list then figure out which songs we can use instruments with and which songs we can't. We figure out new costumes since the old one can't fit with my cast. By the end of the day we have reconstructed the entire show. Because of the whole acoustic thing, we get to cover some cool songs. We also each get to sing a song alone.

Everyone watches as Niall sings his song. He sits on a stool with a guitar in his arms.

“Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry You don't know how lovely you are I had to find you, tell you I need you Tell you I'll set you apart Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions Oh let's go back to the start Running in circles, coming in tails Heads on a science apart Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard Oh, take me back to the start. I was just guessing at numbers and figures Pulling your puzzles apart Questions of science, science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me Oh and I rush to the start Running in circles, chasing our tails Coming back as we are Nobody said it was easy Oh it's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be so hard I'm going back to the start Ooooohhhhhhh[4x]”

 

Tears stream down Niall's face as he ends the song. We all clap and stand up. He wipes away his tears and puts his guitar down. I look to the rest of the guys. We all have tears in our eyes. We all walk over to him, while I limp over to him. We do a big group hug and he sobs into our arms.

“I'm so sorry,” he says over and over again.

“It's okay,” Louis says as he pulls Niall into his arms. Niall pulls back and then looks at me. I nod my head and pull him into my arms.

“Do you forgive me?” he asks.

“Yes.”


	29. Chapter 29

Louis' POV;

I lay in Harry's arms. We are in the tour bus. Our first stop is Paris. I close my eyes and try to sleep. I hear yelling and I sit up. I get up from the bed and Harry follows behind me, hopping. We walk over to the kitchen where we find Zayn, Liam, and Niall. Zayn is yelling at Niall and Liam is yelling at Zayn while Niall just stands still terrified.

“What's going on?” I ask as we enter the room.

“Yelling at him is only to make this worse for him, Zayn!” Liam yells.

“He deserves to be yelled at! He betrayed his religion. God, how could you be so selfish! Did you even think of the people who love you!” Zayn shouts at Niall. Niall shakes his head. Harry speaks up this time.

“What is going on?!?” he yells. They all turn their heads to face us.

“You wanna tell them, Niall,” Zayn says as he glares at him. Niall avoids all eye contact. Tears stream down his face. Harry hops over to Niall.

“Come on, Niall, you know you can tell us anything,” Harry says with a soft, gentle voice. I walk over to Niall and thats when I see them.

Scars are all down Niall's left arm. Niall's eyes are on me. I step closer and take Niall's arm into my hands. I study the scares. I then look Niall in the eye as tears form in my own eyes.

“Why?” I don't tear my eyes away from him.

“It started the day I shot Harry, I hated myself for what I did and every waking minute of every fucking day, all I can hear are gunshots and the look on everyone's faces. I haven't slept in weeks cause everytime I close my eyes, the memory is there. I needed something to take my mind off the emotional pain, so I gave myself a physical pain to make me forget about the emotional pain.”

“Niall, you have PSD, you need to see someone about this. It's a serious condition,” I say to him.

“Fine, I'll see someone on our day off,” he says. “Promise me that you won't hurt yourself again?” Harry says.

“Promise,” he says. Harry pulls Niall into a hug and we all join in, except Zayn. Zayn sneaks out of the room.

Harry's POV;

 

Before the concert today, we have an interview at a local radio station. Fans are gathered outside the station. I move down the line of screaming fans, signing autographs. A girl suddenly plops a pamphlet in front of my eyes.

“You want me to sign this?” I ask her confused. The girl looks to be 16 years old. She has curly blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. She has a cross necklace on and a purity ring on her finger.

“No, it's for you. My pastor said that he can get you help for free,” she says kindly. I look at the pamphlet with a puzzled look. It's a rehab for gay and lesbian people.

“Sorry but I don't need this,” I say to her. I can tell she is holding back tears. Everyone has their eyes on her. The fence separates us. I call the guard over. He lets her out of the gate. I pull her into my arms and hug her.

“Promise me that you will get better,” she whispers in my ear.

“I don't need to go to rehab cause there is nothing wrong with being bi,” I say to her. She looks at me like I am Satan.

“My pastor was right about you, fame has changed you,” she says as she walks away. I stare blankly at nothing. How could someone be so closed minded. Going to rehab isn't going to change who I am. There is nothing wrong with who I am. It's like saying someone should go to rehab because they are black, they can't change the color of their skin no matter how much they pray.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains extreme comments involving homophobia that may be found offensive.

Louis' POV;

“I have someone, I want you to meet,” Simon says as he pulls Harry and I aside after the concert. He takes us over to two guys. I recognize one of them right away, Justin Timberlake. Next to him is a guy who looks to be the same age as him with spiky dirty blonde hair and dazzling green eyes.

“I am such a huge fan of yours,” Harry says with a smile to Justin. The other guy looks familiar.

“Guys, this is Lance Bass from N'sync, he came out not too long after the band broke up,” Simon says. We shake his hand and he smiles at us.

“You boys are way more brave than I was at your age,” he says to us.

“It took a while for us to come out but it's worth it,” Harry says.

“That's great to hear,” he says with a smile. We talk to him for a while. He tells us about how he came out and how happy he is that he is out. And how he hid his sexuality from everyone for so long. It's amazing to see someone who kinda knows what we're going through. It almost gives me hope for the bands career.

The next night, Harry and I are watching an interview with the dudes from Duck Dynasty. They are on The Graham Norton Show.

“So not to long ago you had an interview with a magazine and Phil, you stated that being gay is a sin, how do the rest of you feel about homosexuality?” he asks them. Harry tenses up as he looks at the screen.

“I think that I can speak for all of us when I say that I think that being gay is the worst sin a person can commit. A relationship can only be between a guy and a girl, never between two of the same sex.” I grab the remote from Harry.

“We don't need to listen to this,” I say as I go to change the channel. Harry grabs the remote from me.

“No, I want to hear this,” he says.

“Why? It's only going to put you down,” I say.

“And what was your reaction the two of the boys from One Direction coming out as gay?” Harry turns the volume up.

“It absolutely disgusts me that people idolize these guys and here they are promoting a sin. If you're gay, you might as well, just kill yourself now.”

Harry's mouth is nearly on the floor. I take the remote from him and turn the TV off. “How could they say that!” he says.

“He's not the only one saying that,” I say quietly.

“What?” he looks at me with confusion.

“There are lots of people who think that we should just kill ourselves, I get hundreds of tweets from people, telling me to kill myself,” I say weakly. Harry looks at anything but my face.

“M-maybe we deserve this,” he utters. I place my hand on his chin and force him to look into my eyes.

“We do not deserve this, Harry. We aren't doing anything wrong. We fell in love, that's all we did,” I tell him.

“Then why does everybody hate us so much!” Harry shouts as tears plunge down his cheeks. I look away from him as tears come to my own eyes.

“I-I don't know,” I utter. Harry gets up and limps out of the room. I follow him.

“Why can't people just be happy for us?” he asks. “

Cause they don't believe in a man being with another man,” I say.

“And why is that so wrong? Why are people all over to world telling us to kill ourselves? Are we truly committing a sin?”

I place a hand on his shoulder and turn him around to face me. “Harry, I don't give a damn about what people say about us. All I care about is that I love you and you love me. That's all that matters. Nothing else.” Harry nods his head and I pull him into my arms. He sobs in my embrace.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“And I love you.”


	31. Chapter 31

Harry's POV;

I use my crutches to go over to the stool in the middle of the stage. It is my time to sing my solo. I take a seat on the stool and set my crutches aside. I grab the microphone from the stand and look into the audience.

“This song really explains what I've been through and am still going through. I hope you like it.” I smile and begin to sing.

“I was a little boy alone in my little world

who dreamed of a little home for me.

I played pretend between the trees,

and fed my houseguest bark and leaves,

and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream

That I could fly

From the highest swing.

I had a dream.

 

Long walks in the dark

Through woods grown behind the park,

I asked God who I'm supposed to be.

The stars smiled down on me,

God answered in silent reverie.

I said a prayer and fell asleep.

 

I had a dream

That I could fly

From the highest tree.

I had a dream.

 

Now I'm old and feeling grey.

I don't know what's left to say

About this life I'm willing to leave.

I lived it full and I lived it well,

There's many tales I've lived to tell.

I'm ready now,

I'm ready now,

I'm ready now,

To fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream.”

When I finish the song, tears are pouring down my face. I look to the side of the stage and see Louis with tears in his eyes.

“When I was little I used to dream of singing in front of a live audience. And here I am today with my band. Now that I've reached that dream, I have discovered a new one.” Tears drop from my eyes. “My dream is that one day I will be able to hold hands with the man I love and not get criticized about it.” By now, tears are streaming down my face. Louis runs over to me and hugs me. We cry into each others arms in front of everyone. We hear some people boo, but we don't even care.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains some very graphic opinions on homosexuality, and some maybe considered offensive. Everyone has their right to their own opinions, this is not my opinion.

Harry's POV;

The European tour is almost over. Gemma is visiting me today. “Harold,” a voice calls. I look up to see my beautiful sister. I limp over to her and hug her.

“How have you been?” she asks as we sit down at the table. We are at a local diner.

“Okay,” I say.

“How are things with Louis?” she asks.

“They're really good,” I say. “That's good. How have the fans been?” I gaze out the window, then look down.

“They haven't been as accepting,” I tell her. I change the subject and she tells me about her boyfriend back at home and how mum is doing. I get my cast off soon and am off bed rest.

I enter the dance studio for rehearsals. I am the last to arrive. I go over to Louis and Liam. Simon is standing in front of us. “Do you think you could take your cast off for the show?” Simon asks me.

“I don't think so, I don't get it taken off until next week,” I tell him.

“It won't hurt to just do one show. This is a big show for you guys and it would really suck if you guys were forced to do it acoustic,” he says.

“I guess I can try,” I say.

“Great, we'll keep the cast on for rehearsals.” rehearsals are tough for me. It hurts a lot to walk without my crutches. But I put up with it cause I don't want to let the guys down. I don't want to hold them back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Throughout the show, I can feel myself, getting weaker and weaker. My leg is in agonizing pain. As we perform Midnight Memories, I can just feel my leg getting ready to buckle underneath me. I stop singing and bend down on my knees. Everyone stares at me. Louis and Liam walk over to me.

“What's wrong?” Liam asks me.

“I can't get up,” I tell him. Zayn and Niall join us.

“Just get the fuck up and stop being such a fucking baby all the time!” Zayn snaps.

“If I could get up, I would,” I say.

“I am so tired of this. Do you know how much we have had to sacrifice all cause of your stupid relationship with Louis! Our career has been ruined because of you two. And all this time, I have been forced to keep my opinion quiet, but you know what, I'm not going to hide anymore. I'm going to let it all out, right now. Your relationship is a disgrace to this band, it is a sin and frankly my world would be much better if you two just hung yourselves! You're already going to hell, might as well!” Zayn shouts. Everyone looks at Zayn with shock.

“What about our friendship?” I ask him.

“That ended the day you told me your little secret,” he states.

“I can't change who I am, Zayn,” I defend.

“Yes you can, they have rehabs for people like you.” I look at him with disbelief.

“Niall, why don't you tell me how you feel about our relationship, while we're being honest,” I say as I look to Niall.

“I think that you guys are making a huge mistake and need help but I wouldn't go as far as to tell you to kill yourselves. I still love you guys and am your friend,” he admits.

“Anyone else wanna voice their opinions?” I ask into the microphone. Paul walks onto the stage and grabs the microphone.

“I've never supported your relationship. I think being gay is a sin and you two need help,” he says. I look at him with disbelief. Tears are streaming down my face.

“Come on, let's get out of here,” Louis says as he reaches his hand out for me. I take his hand in mine and he helps me backstage. Liam follows us.

 

We go onto the tour bus and I put my cast back on. I go into the bathroom and cry in the middle of the floor. I sob and let all my emotions bust out of me. I can feel my heart shatter into a million little pieces.


	33. Chapter 33

Harry's POV;

Betrayal. It's the worst feeling in the world. The feeling of having the people you trust hurt you beyond repair. I haven't moved since last night, I still sit in the middle of the bathroom floor. I am surrounded by hate. Everywhere I look, all I can see is hate, pain, corruption, betrayal. It surrounds me, it's all I see. It's broken my spirit. I didn't use to be this way. I was happy, full of love and joy. But their harsh words and hostility ruined me. I had so much hope for this world, but now I realize how messed up this world is. There is no hope. Not anymore. At least not for me or Louis. A person can only take so much until they break and are left with the remnants of who they are. All the joy and happiness has washed out of me and has been replaced with sorrow and despair. I'm only human, I guess it was going to happen sooner or later.

“Have you been there all night?” Louis asks me as he approaches the bathroom. I nod my head. He sinks down next to me and runs a hand through his messy hair.

“Oh, Haz,” he sighs. I rest my head on his shoulder and let tears drop from my eyes.

“What's going to happen now?” I ask.

“I don't know.” Liam walks into the room hanging his head.

“We have an emergency meeting with Modest,” he says as he enters the bathroom. We get up and go into the kitchen where everyone is. Everyone sits around the island. I yawn and take a seat. Simon stands up and looks at each one of us with sympathy.

“Last night, was a train wreck to say the least,” he says.

“Our band basically feel apart on stage,” Liam says.

“Yeah, about that,” Simon sighs as he looks to a stack of papers. Louis glances over to the papers to try and see what they are.

“We have received thousands of letters, demanding to remove Louis and Harry from the band.” I look up at Simon stunned. “I really thought that we could make this work, I'm sorry guys. I really tried.” Simon sinks to his chair. He barries his head in his hands. Never in my life had I seen Simon like this. He was...broken.

“What are you saying?” Liam asks as he raises an eyebrow.

“The band is breaking up.” The words break me in a million pieces. Tears come to everyone's eyes.

“We can try to work things out,” Niall says with desperate eyes.

“Boys, you guys can barely be in the same room as each other. Our sales have dropped by thousands, and frankly people have stopped playing our music. I'm sorry boys but One Direction is officially over.” Simon gets up and Modest leaves with him.

“This is all your fault!” Zayn yells as he points at Louis and I.

“Our fault! you're the one who blew up at the show last night!” I shout.

“Let's just go home, Zayn,” Niall says quietly.

“Fine,” he mutters as they leave the bus.

“He's right,” Louis mutters.

“What?” Louis looks up with tears streaming down his face.

“It's all our fault,” he states. Liam puts a hand on Louis' arm but Louis yanks away.

“It is not your fault, you can't help who you fall in love with,” Liam says.

“No, but you can hide it. We should've never told management. Things were so much better then. We didn't have to deal with all this hate. We still had our friends.” Louis gets up and goes to our room. I follow him.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“I'm packing my stuff,” he says.

“Lou, our careers aren't over. We can be solo artists now,” I say.

“Yes it is! Don't you get it? I've always had a weaker voice compared the rest of you guys. That's why I was put in a band. But now that, that band is gone, I have nothing,” he says as he throws stuff in his bag.

“You're wrong, you have me,” I say. Louis lets the tears come strolling down his face. I pull him into my arms.

“We'll get through this.”


	34. Chapter 34

Harry's POV;

Things haven't gotten better. In fact, they have gotten worse. When the news broke that the band split up, fans were devastated. They blamed Louis and I. You have no idea how many hate letters have come in the mail. I try to throw them all away before Louis finds them. I got my cast taken off and am fully recovered. Louis hasn't been going out much since the break up. He just sits on the couch staring at a blank screen. Liam comes over a lot. We've tried to get Louis to eat or move, but he won't. I'm worried about him. I'm afraid he might be depressed. I've tried to convince him to go out and talk to record labels but I'm not even sure if he notices that I'm there. It's like he's just blocked out the entire world. I've been to many record labels but all of them have said no. Zayn got picked up by Island Def Jam recording company. Liam and I have been playing at local gigs.

“Harry,” a voice calls. I turn around to see Louis staring at me. It's the first word that he's said to me in weeks.

“Yeah,” I say.

“I found a song that I want to sing with you,” he says. I walk over to the couch and sit next to him.

“Okay, what is it called?” I ask.

“Human by Christina Perri.” Louis agrees to perform the song at a local gig on friday with Liam. I can see that Louis is slowly realizing that life goes on. He still isn't his old self but neither am I. I don't think either of us ever will be those people again. We were so innocent then. We were oblivious to the world around us. And now we know just how dark the world is. And we've let the world take away a part of us. Leaving a burning hole inside our hearts.

It is friday and we are getting ready for the gig. We go out on the small stage. Louis takes center stage and grabs the microphone. I swear I see a smile sneak across his face as he begins to sing.

“I can hold my breath

I can bite my tongue

I can stay awake for days

If that's what you want

Be your number one

 

I can fake a smile

I can force a laugh

I can dance and play the part

If that's what you ask

Give you all I am

 

I can do it

I can do it

I can do it

 

But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

 

I can turn it on

Be a good machine

I can hold the weight of worlds

If that's what you need

Be your everything

 

I can do it

I can do it

I'll get through it

 

But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

 

I'm only human

I'm only human

Just a little human

 

I can take so much

'Till I've had enough

 

Cause I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

 

'Cause I'm only human”


	35. Chapter 35

Louis' POV;

“Will we ever be able to go out in public without getting judged?” I ask Harry as I lay on his bare chest in our bed. He sighs as he runs his fingers through my hair.

“No.”

Why can’t people just accept that we're happy and be happy for us? Why does everyone have to judge every single thing we do? Can't we just care about our lives and no one else's? I grab my iPhone and go on twitter. I haven't been on in weeks. I've been too afraid. I go to my mentions and all I see is hate messages, death threats, and people telling me to kill myself. There is this quote about the darkness of the world. It's a beautiful quote, and it's the truth.

"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return, but knowing that some would be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows. Swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?"

Maybe we brought this darkness upon us. But I can't change who I am, and for some reason, people can't understand that. I feel like everyone is watching every move I make, waiting for me to mess up, waiting for another reason to hate me. I feel trapped. Like I'm being surrounded, and no matter which way I go, I'm doomed. Will I ever have a happy ending? Or will I have to live the rest of my life trapped inside this house?

“What are you thinking about?” Harry asks me.

“Everything.”

“Tell me,” he says. I sigh and look into his deep green eyes.

“This world is filled of hate and love. But there is so much hate that it destroys the love. Pushing it away until it is gone. There's no hope. We're all lost in this cruel, cruel world, desperately trying to find a way out of this labyrinth. But the thing is, there is no way out. No escape root, no free pass, no hope. You can take away a house, pets, music, and property. But no one took away our humanity, we destroyed that ourselves.” Harry stares at me amused.

“That is some deep shit,” he says with a chuckle. I laugh and he smiles at me.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” He can see right through my lies. He's the only one who can. He raises an eyebrow at me.

“Okay fine, I'm not. And I don't think I will be ever again,” I say.

“Why is that?”

 

“I just can't take all this hate. Everywhere I go, it follows me. The only time I'm ever really happy is when I'm with you. But they took that happiness away from me.” I've been strong for a long time, but a person can only take so much. I can feel myself breaking. Breaking into pieces. Leaving me with the remnants of who I used to be.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” he asks.

“Nothing, there is nothing you can do.” Harry gives me a sympathetic look.

“Come on, babe. What about we spend a weekend in the Bahamas, get a hotel, swim with dolphins, just have fun for once. Get a break from this miserable place.” A small smile grows on my face.

“Fine.” I kiss Harry's lips and he kisses back.


	36. Chapter 36

Harry's POV;

Louis and I walk hand in hand down the beach. The sun shines in our eyes and the waves splash across the shore.

“Let's go parasailing!” I suggest with a smile across my face.

“Fine,” Louis says with a smile. We go over and buy tickets. We get onto a boat. We put on our life preservers and are strapped into the thing. We hold hands as we raise up into the sky. I can see Louis' eyes are closed.

“Are you afraid of heights?” I ask him.

“Little bit,” he says. I chuckle and smile as we reach as high as we can go.

“Open your eyes,” I tell him.

“No,” he says.

“Come on, trust me.” Louis opens one eye, then the other. A smile screeches across his face.

“It's so beautiful,” he says.

“Yeah.” I lean over and connect our lips.

That night, we watch the sun set on the beach.

“Are you feeling any better?” I ask Louis.

“Yeah, I love it here, I wish we could stay here forever,” he says.

“Yeah but running away isn't going to solve our problems. People will find out where we are,” I say. He sighs and looks over to me.

“Why can't we just be normal?” I chuckle.

“Cause we were stupid enough to want to be in the music industry.” Louis giggles and smiles at me.

“You know, I love you, right?” I ask. He stares deeply into my eyes and nods his head.

“Yeah. I love you.” I close the space between us and kiss his lips. His tongue slides into my mouth and they collide. My hands travel over each of his tattoos. I then kiss down his neck.

“Are we seriously going to do this in the middle of the beach?” he chuckles.

“Why not, you only live once,” I say with a laugh. He lets out a laugh and puts his lips on mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are we going to do? Neither of us have jobs, and eventually, we are going to run out of money,” Louis says.

“I don't know. I've met with multiple record labels and all have turned me down. We can't exactly work local jobs without getting recognized.” I sigh and look out at the ocean.

“I remember when I first started dating you, my dream became to be able to hold hands with you without getting criticized. I realize now that, that's never going to happen,” I tell him.

“We need a place where it's just us and no one us,” he says.

“We could buy our own island,” I suggest.

“Like we have money for that, and no matter where we go people are going to hate.” We both sigh and look at the now night sky. Stars shine down at us, twinkling in the moonlight.

 

“There is one way out,” Louis says suddenly.

“What?” I ask. He stay silent for a while. “What?” I repeat. He looks out at the ocean.

“We could leave,” he says.

“Leaving won't help, people will recognize us no matter where we go.” I can see tears form in his eyes. 

“That's not what I mean,” he says as he avoids eye contact.

“Then what?” I look at him confused.

“Forget it, it wouldn't work anyway,” he says.

“No, tell me,” I plead.

“Fine but don't laugh.”

“I promise,” I tell him. “Okay, we could....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do y'all think Louis' plan is?


	37. Chapter 37

Louis' POV;

We are back from our vacation. I am meeting with my family today and so is Harry. I open the door to see my family. I hug each one individually. All of my sisters are here and so are both of my dads and my mum. We go inside and sit down.

“So, what are we all here for?” my dad asks.

“It's been a while since I've seen you all. I miss you guys,” I tell them. My mum smiles at me. We spend the day at the park and catching up. I've really missed them and I am going to miss them. It is hard to say goodbye to them again. I hug my mum for a long time, holding back the tears in my eyes.

“I love you,” I tell her.

“I love you too, baby,” she says as he pulls away and kisses my check. I let the tears slide down my face as I see them for the last time.

Harry's POV;

“I'm so sorry,” Gemma says as she hugs me.

“I'm fine,” I tell her as I pull away form the hug. I hug each of my parents and we sit down to eat.

“So how have you been?” my mom asks.

“I've been good,” I tell her. I tell them all that they've missed in the past months, and they tell me what I've missed. Gemma has a boyfriend and she really loves him. I'm happy for her. I wish I could be there for her wedding day. Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I try my best to hold back the tears as I hug my family one last time. A few tears slip out.

“Why are you crying?” Gemma asks.

“I've just missed you guys a lot,” I tell them. And with that they leave me, without knowing they won't see me again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louis and I invite all of our friends over to play some football. We invite all of our best friends, we even invite Zayn, he doesn't show up though. We have a lot of fun, which makes what we are going to do even harder. After football, we go back to the house and have a bonfire. We roast marshmallows, make S'mores, and sing songs. I rest my head on Louis' shoulder as we all sing a song.

“The story of my life I take her home I drive all night to keep her warm And time is frozen The story of my life I give her hope (give her hope) I spend her love Until she's broke (until she's broke inside) Inside The story of my life (the story of, the story of) The story of my life The story of my life (the story of, the story of) The story of my life.”

Tears are streaming down my face as the song is over. “Why so emotional? Are you on your period?” Liam jokes. I chuckle and smile.

“I've just missed you all a lot. I love you all.” Niall smiles at me.

“We love you too,” he says with a smile. Louis smiles at me as I still rest my head on his shoulder.

He kisses my forehead and whispers in my ear, “We're almost free.” A smile stretches across my face but it's bittersweet. Is it really freedom if it's at the cost of everyone you love?

When I look back on old times, all I see is what I lost. I lost my friends, my fans, my band. I also lost hope. hope for this world. I am disgusted by the world that surrounds me. If I could I would go back in time and not tell management. I wouldn’t tell my friends. I would change it all, but I still would end up here. All roads lead me here. People just don’t understand. And they probably never will. Tomorrow is a new beginning. Some will say that we’re cowards, but I think that we’re brave, it takes courage to do all that we did and so our ending isn’t happy. No one has a happy ending. It’s reality. I’m going to miss this place, well more like the people. But it’s what I must do. I can’t continue to live like this.

 

Darkness has consumed us. It’s seeped into our lives and stolen our identities. Everywhere, we turn, it follows us, suffocating us, drowning all the happiness out of our lives, making, no forcing us to live in the dark. People always say there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Well, sorry to break it to you but there isn’t, at least not for Louis and I. We’ve both given up on ever finding the light. Maybe that’s why we are going to do this. Or maybe it’s cause we just don’t belong here, we don’t belong anywhere. I never thought it would come to this, never in a million years. But here I am, giving everything up for the boy I love.


	38. Chapter 38

Louis' POV;

Love is unique, passionate, powerful, and unbreakable. But at the same time love can be fragile, vulnerable, and can be destroyed into tiny pieces, breaking each person beyond repair. I would describe the love between Harry and I as skinny love. Skinny love is powerful but at the same time breakable. People say love can and will conquer all, that isn't the case in all love. Our love was built to overcome anything but as our love grew, parts got shattered along the way, breaking off the strong pieces, leaving us with skinny love.

I am more scared than I have ever been in my entire life. Harry and I sit in front of his Mac.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Ready,” I say. He presses record.

“Hi, I'm Harry Styles and this is Louis Tomlinson. We just wanted to say a huge thank you to all the fans who stuck with us and supported us on this crazy journey. We love you and you are the reason we got here in the first place. Next, I would like to thank my family. You are the ones who raised me into the man I am today. I love you, remember that. Louis.” Harry looks to me with encouragement.

“I want to thank my family for all that you've done for me. You have supported me through everything and taught me everything I know. I wouldn't of been able to do any of this without you.”

I look over to Harry and he looks into the camera. “Liam, Niall, Zayn and anyone who was a part of the One Direction, thank you. Thank you for getting us here and putting up with all our shit. You helped us conquer our dreams. Lastly, we would like to thank our friends for being there for us every step of the way. We love you. We love every single one of you.” Tears form in Harry's eyes and I urge him on. “But we can't be happy here, everywhere we go we get judged, criticized, and hated on. It's not that we care what other people say about us, but when you can't even hold hands with your boyfriend without someone telling you to kill yourself, it's hard. And we just want to be happy. There's only one place we can be happy, that is away from everyone else.” Tears are streaming down Harry's face. “So, um just know that we are happy and that we love you all. So, this is goodbye.” Harry stops recording. Our twitters go crazy over the twitcam. I close the laptop and we leave our flat. Harry holds my hand as we drive to our destination. We pull up to the parking lot and park the car. It is deserted. We get out of the car and walk up to the building. It is locked. We already knew this would happen. Harry takes out a paperclip and breaks the lock. We enter the building as memories flow through our minds.

We hold hands as we walk around the huge building. We enter a room and turn on the lights. I smile as I look at our surroundings. This is where, Harry and I first met. In the bathroom at the X Factor auditions. Harry and I look to each other smiling. We go to the middle of the bathroom and sit down. We just sit in each others arms for a while. Both of us fearing our futures.

“It's time,” Harry says as he looks to his watch.

“Okay, let's do it,” I utter. He puts his hand in the bag and pulls something out. He hands me a water then puts one out for himself. He then pulls out the two small containers. Tears are streaming down both of our faces as we shake with fear.

“One last kiss?” I say. He nods and kisses my lips with more passion than ever before. We make out until we need to breathe.

“Ready?” He asks as we both grab a water and a container. We open the containers at the same time. We pour out the painkillers.

“Ready.” At the same time, we both force the painkillers down our throats with water. We both lie down as we start to feel dizzy. I reach out and grab his hand, intertwining our fingers together.

“I love you.” His voice is weak and the words struggled to escape his lips.

“I love you too,” I choke on the words. We can feel our bodies weakening.

“What should we do now?” he asks. I look to him.

“We can sing,” I say.

“What song?” he says with a smile, already knowing my answer.

“I think you know what song I'm thinking of.” we both open our mouths and use all the strength left in us to sing one last song.

“Come on skinny love just last the year,

Pour a little salt you were never here,

My my my, my my my, my-my my-my...

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer.

 

Tell my love to wreck it all,

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall,

My my my, my my my, my-my my-my...

Right in the moment this order's tall.

 

And I told you to be patient,

And I told you to be fine,

And I told you to be balanced,

And I told you to be kind,

And in the morning I'll be with you,

But it will be a different kind."


	39. Epilogue

Liam’s POV;

They found their bodies next to each other, holding hands, with tears in their eyes. Their eyes were still open, you could see the fear in their eyes. I will never get that image of them out of my head. I knew they we were up to something when they invited everyone over that night. I should of talked to them. Told them that I love them and to not give up. When I watched their twitcam, I was positive they were up to something. But, never in a million years, did I even think they would do this. I thought maybe they were going to run away together, or go home, or even give up on music and just be themselves. A janitor found them. They were long gone then, their bodies were cold and their corpses were starting to rot.

Everyone is shocked and torn. I think now that they are gone, people regret being so harsh on them. Niall has blamed himself. I think he’s cutting again. He hasn’t left his room in weeks. All he does is sit in his bed and stare at the air. I feel bad for the kid. It’s not his fault. I think it was just a mix of everything, it all got too much for them. The constant hate and stares got too much for them to handle. Zayn feels horrible. I was with him when we found out. His eyes flickered into this a dull stage of regret.

Tears burst from his eyes as he muttered, “I never thought they would actually do it.” Once again, he blamed himself. I think everyone blames themselves. Their families have taken it the worst. They’ve really leaned on each other. Gemma hasn’t left her house in weeks, I try to visit her as much as I can.

The funeral was hard for everyone. Everyone was there, even people who hated their relationship. As much as people were disgusted by their relationship, they never thought they would actually kill themselves. Modest and Simon were there. I saw Simon cry for the first time in my life. He talked to me after the funeral.

“I’m so sorry, I will never make someone hide their sexuality ever again.”

Simon canceled X Factor, he’s given up on himself. He thinks it’s his fault, just like we all do. And maybe it is our fault. Maybe we should of just supported them, maybe we should of been there for them more often, maybe we should of caught on, maybe we should of stopped them. I’ve always been the one keeping people together, being there for people, giving advice, being a shoulder to cry on. I should of been the one to stop them, I should of caught on, I should of told them that I love them. How am I supposed to keep everyone together, when I can’t keep myself together?

Gemma asked me to clean out their flat. It’s too hard for them. I sit in their flat, crying. I look up and see an envelope on top of Harry’s Mac. I pick it up. On the top, it has in bold; PLEASE OPEN. It feels wrong, but I open it. Inside, is a handwritten letter. It’s written in Harry’s horrible handwriting. I read the letter;

This is a real letter, a real letter that explains why we left, this is our suicide letter. It feels weird writing this, cause I still can’t believe we're going to do this. I guess there’s no backing out now. So, if you find this, then it means it worked, and we’re dead. We don’t want you all to blame yourselves. Yes, you all were apart of why we are dead but don’t bury yourselves with blame. We love you all. Every single one of you, even the ones who doubted us and didn’t support us. It’s okay. We forgive you, all of you. We just couldn’t live this way anymore, scared of our own shadows, and being forced to hide cause of all the hate. Somewhere, along our journey, we lost ourselves. We have given up hope. I guess that’s why we did this. We finally don’t have to worry about everyones' opinions or all the death threats. We can finally just be together. We can be happy. So, don’t be too hard on yourselves, because we love you all. And remember, we are happy now. It’s for the best. So move on and we wish you all the best. I guess this is goodbye.

Love,

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah i know this story was really sad and depressing. But I wanted to get a point across that falling in love is not a sin and people shouldn't be blamed for who they fall in love with cause we have no control over that.


End file.
